Carm's corner

Posting this on Monday morning because last night I was struggling with html and I gave up... ha...

Took some PTO this week, so I had time to watch a lot of stuff, but I feel weird. I'm going to have a lot of work to do tomorrow. Nothing like "resting" while thinking about the work you're not doing the whole time. A lovely feeling. Anyway, at least I could distract myself a little by watching my gay and not-gay shows. I finished three dramas and a book this week.

Currently reading

• Human Acts (novel) - Chapter 1


• Cosmetic Playlover (manga) - Finally finished Vol. 5 (not marked as finished because it's still ongoing, and I don't know when the next volumes' translations will be available)

Finished reading

• Married Thrice to Salted Fish (novel) - 147 chapters (124 chapters of the main story, 23 extras)

Currently watching

• Winter Begonia (Chinese drama) - Weekly, weekends - 10/49 episodes


• Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung (Korean drama) - No schedule - 4/20 episodes


• Ossan's Love Thailand (Thai BL drama) - Weekly, on Mondays - 11/12 episodes


• El Secreto del Río (Mexican drama) - No schedule - 4/8 episodes


• Dakaichi: I'm Being Harassed By the Sexiest Man of the Year (BL anime) - No schedule - 2/13 episodes

Finished watching

• Secret Relationships (Korean BL drama) - 8 episodes


• Gelboys (Thai BL drama) - No schedule - 7 episodes


• Not Me (Thai BL drama) - No schedule - 14 episodes

I haven't caught up with the Winter Begonia watch party, but I'm on episode 10. I finished watching three dramas this week, and another one finishes tomorrow, so I want to wait before starting new things to focus on Winter Begonia and Rookie Historian.

Last Monday's episode of Ossan's Love was infuriating, but there's only one more episode before it ends, so I'm just going to endure it. The things we do to see our faves, ISTG.

Secret Relationships ended on Thursday, and... what a ride. It was fun, and stressful, very telenovelesco. I really enjoyed the levels of toxicity, even though at some moments Da-on (the protagonist) was truly exasperating. It had a sweet and satisfying ending. I said it on Fedi, but I'll say it here: if toxic BL is your thing, maybe this one will interest you. Mind the content warnings, though, because it can get really dark and intense. It's not for everyone. Content warnings and spoilers: verbal abuse, physical abuse, stalking, emotional manipulation, self-harm, suicide attempt, murder attempt, kidnapping, sexual assault.

Then, Gelboys finished on Saturday. This one was also very stressful to watch, but for very different reasons than Secret Relationships. It's low-stakes, about teenage love and the messiness of those relationships. But I really liked it. When I started watching, I thought the visual style was very interesting, and after watching some of the BTS episodes, I understood a little better what they were trying to do. The visuals are a crucial aspect of the storytelling: the use of cellphones to film, the social media elements, and the drawings that give it a sticker-like feel, like the ones the boys use to customize their stuff in the series. Then there are the pop culture references (and I'm not gonna lie, I love learning what the chaviza is into, even if this time it's Thai youngsters). I'm really glad I gave it a chance despite not being very convinced at the beginning, because I ended up enjoying it a lot. It has rewatch potential. And I still want to try getting my nails done.

And today, I finished watching Not Me. I loved it. I had to suspend my disbelief for a lot of things, like Black/White not covering his arms and letting everyone see his very distinctive tattoos. Or other details that kinda pissed me off, like not having a reliable doctor to go to when they needed one and having to go to the hospital instead. But I really enjoyed it, and I know better than to expect realism from most BL shows. Give me feels, give me emotions, give me drama. I can turn off some parts of my brain to enjoy the story. There was a part that hit a bit too close to home, and I don't know if I should mention it here because it's a bit off-topic, as it relates to my country's current events... maybe I should make a separate post about it.

Anyway, I ended up liking OffGun a lot too, and I'm looking forward to their upcoming show (Burnout Syndrome), also directed by the director of Not Me. Also, if any of you have enjoyed another of their shows, feel free to tell me so I can check it out. I'm slowly making my way through the most beloved Thai BL shows, but I feel like there are so many and there's never enough time. Which one should I watch next? To give a reference of the ones I've watched, here's a list I made on MDL.

After starting Dakaichi: I'm Being Harassed By the Sexiest Man of the Year, I also watched the first episode of Top Form. I didn't love it, but I'm giving it a chance since it's only one episode a week (I don't know if they're releasing two episodes a week for VIP on WeTV, but I'm not subscribing). I'm not adding it to my list until I feel like I'm not going to drop it XD The premise sounded fun, but we'll see. The anime is... a thing, hehe.

Also, I finally finished reading Married Thrice to Salted Fish, and I really liked it. I enjoyed the dynamic between Lin Qingyu and the transmigrator. I also enjoyed all the plotting and scheming. And the deaths. I'm being vague because I don't want to write spoilers, but I'm being brave and recommending it. It's a fun read.

For now, I'm taking a break from novels to read other things. Today I started reading Human Acts by Han Kang. It's not an easy read, but it's much shorter than the novels I usually read, so even if it takes me a while to finish, it hopefully won't take three months.

And that's it for now.

This week was mostly uneventful, EXCEPT for the fact that the washing machine broke. I called a technician, but he never showed up. After reaching out to other technicians, one finally told me he’d come tomorrow. I’m tired, and my bank account is angry, lol.

But I wasn’t very busy with work… at least not like I was last month, and that allowed me to watch and read a bit more. I really missed my stories.

So, here’s what I’ve been reading and watching this past week.

Currently reading

• Married Thrice to Salted Fish (novel) - Chapter 113! Yay!

• Cosmetic Playlover (manga) - Finally finished Vol. 4 and started Vol. 5

Finished reading

• Cry of Despair (manga) 

Currently watching

• Winter Begonia (Chinese drama) - Weekly, weekends - 8/49 episodes

• Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung (Korean drama) - No schedule - 3/20 episodes

• Ossan's Love Thailand (Thai BL drama) - Weekly, on Mondays - 10/12 episodes

• Gelboys (Thai BL drama) - No schedule - 3/7 episodes

• El Secreto del Río (Mexican drama) - No schedule - 4/8 episodes

• Secret Relationships (Korean BL drama) - Weekly, Wednesdays and Thursdays - 6/8 episodes

• Not Me (Thai BL drama) - No schedule - 4/14 episodes

• Dakaichi: I'm Being Harassed By the Sexiest Man of the Year (BL anime) - No schedule - 1/13 episodes

I hope I can catch up with the Winter Begonia watch party this week. I watched episodes 7 and 8 today, and there were so many emotions! Very intense. But there are also plenty of funny moments. Shang Xirui is THE character, and Huang Xiaoming is so handsome that sometimes it’s a bit distracting.

This week’s episode of Ossan’s Love managed to piss me off, lol. Especially Mix’s character. Only two more episodes, and it’ll be over. I wish I could say I’m not going to start watching something else, but I know myself, ha. I kinda want to watch the Japanese version to compare. I have a bit of a fixation for watching/reading different versions of media. I like seeing the variations of the same story. It’s fascinating.

Maybe I could resist starting another BL and keep watching Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung. I like it a lot. I’m looking forward to seeing the female historians in action and the male historians having to swallow their words and stop bullying them.

This Thursday will be the finale of Secret Relationships, and I can’t wait to see how it ends because episode 6 ended in a way I didn’t expect at all. I was yelling at the screen in shock and disbelief. I think it needs a trigger warning because holy shit, that was intense. The drama itself is very intense, with toxic relationships and messed-up characters. I’m enjoying it a lot.

I’m also enjoying Not Me a lot. I like the serious parts, but it also has very silly moments. There’s also a mystery that needs to be solved, so yeah… I also like seeing familiar faces like a baby First Kanaphan and Sing Harit. Plus, this is the first drama I’ve watched with OffGun.

I also watched two more episodes of Gelboys. At first, I wasn’t very convinced because the target audience seems to be so much younger than I am, but I’m not gonna deny it’s interesting to watch. It’s kinda stressful too. I like the way it shows the pace of kids’ lives these days… how they interact, flirt, and fall in love. It’s a bit overwhelming, but I like what they’re trying to do. I think it’s an interesting drama, and after watching episode 2 yesterday, I found myself constantly thinking about wanting to watch more. Not because I’m addicted to stress or something like some people might suggest, but because I fucking love the chisme and want to know what’s going to happen to those boys. You could say it’s a story with low stakes, but when you’re a teenager, falling in love, getting rejected by the person you like, and being cool seem like the most important things in the world (and they are, in some ways). Maybe I’m also curious because I feel older every day, and seeing different stories about different people is always nice. It reminds me of things I forget to notice. Does this make sense? I hope so.

Finally, I started watching Dakaichi: I'm Being Harassed By the Sexiest Man of the Year because someone mentioned an upcoming Thai drama based on it: Top Form. I wanted to check the vibes to see if I want to give it a chance. I should also read the manga later. It looks messy and fun, so maybe??? I don’t know. I still need to watch the anime, but I like that there are only 13 episodes.

Also, I miss my boys Fadel and Style, but at least I could work a bit on one of my FadelStyle WIPs, I'm still thinking so much about The Heartkillers, but haven't been able to rewatch these past couple of weeks.

Currently reading

• Married Thrice to Salted Fish (novel) - Chapter 92. No progress. I admit I’ve been a bit distracted, but I hope I can get back on track again.
• Cosmetic Playlover (manga) - Finally finished Vol. 4 and started Vol. 5, but I admit that the fact it’s ongoing makes me want to stop… 😅
• Fanfics, some (a lot, but I really don’t count). Should I make a recount of the ones I’ve read? I’ve never done that before 🤔​

Currently watching

• Winter Begonia (Chinese drama) - weekly, weekends - 5/49 episodes
• Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung (Korean drama) - no schedule - 2/20 episodes
• Ossan's Love Thailand (Thai BL drama) - weekly, on Mondays - 9/12 episodes
• Gelboys (Thai BL drama) - no schedule - 1/7 episodes
• El Secreto del Río (Mexican drama) - no schedule - 4/8 episodes
• Secret Relationships (Korean BL drama) - weekly, on Thursdays (although I just watched the first 4 episodes on Friday and yesterday) - 4/8 episodes
• Not Me (Thai BL drama) - no schedule - 1/14 episodes

Finally caught up with Ossan’s Love, but I admit I’m getting a little bored. Still, it’s only once a week, and I really like seeing EarthMix, so I’m gonna keep watching.

I started watching Secret Relationships because I read it’s messy and a red flag parade… well, what can I say? I enjoy all kinds of stories, but I have a soft spot for messy and slightly toxic ones. Plus, Korean BLs have short episodes.

I kinda want to just not do anything else and watch Winter Begonia ToT

Yes, yes, my list has grown, but the weekly releases are easy to manage because they don’t take up much space in my mind. The problem is the ones that are fully available. I started Not Me because it’s one everybody has praised, and arsonists? Count me in 👀​

Another thing is that I scheduled some posts for my music recs account. I also finished my secret craft project. Should I post it here? 🤔​

Isn't it a bit absurd that I'm obsessed with Joong's song from ThamePo OST when I haven't watched beyond episode 2? 🙃 But Joong is my fave these days...

Are these posts boring?

This week was a lot calmer than the past three weeks, and apparently, that was the only thing my body needed to decide it was a good moment to get sick. It is not a good moment to get sick... I mean, it never is, but I have so much to do that I really cannot affford to get sick now. But it is what it is, and I went to see a doctor, got meds, and I hope I will feel better soon. As I always say: bodies are traitors. Also, if I have more typos than usual (and that's a lot), it's because I'm trying press-on nails (because I've never done that and I was curious, thanks to a certain BL that joined my watch list this week), so please bear with me. I'm not on copyediting duty when I post here, after all 😅​ (sometimes I go back and edit my posts a lot and it takes me so much time, but sometimes I dont...don't judge me, please, sometimes my brain is tired).

• Married Thrice to Salted Fish (novel) - Chapter 84 Still on this chapter, but I did read a couple of pages, so it's not abandoned. I'm counting it as progress)
• Cosmetic Playlover (manga) - End of Volume 4 (still. Maybe I should just buy the physical volumes T.T)
• A lot of stuff about editing. This week was about physical and digital books. It's not boring, but knowing I have to do it makes it a chore, and that doesn't help with the motivation or enjoyment at all.

• Winter Begonia (Chinese drama) - weekly, weekends, 3/49 episodes
• Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung (Korean drama) - no schedule - 1/20 episodes
• Ossan's Love Thailand (Thai BL drama) - weekly, on Mondays, 5/12 episodes
• Gelboys (Thai BL drama) - no schedule - 1/7 episodes
• El Secreto del Río (Mexican drama) - no schedule - 4/8 episodes

• Futtara Doshaburi (Japanese BL drama) - 7/7 episodes
• See Your Love (Taiwanese BL drama) - 13/13 episodes

I didn't catch up with Ossan's Love and instead finished See Your Love. I really liked it, especially that the story isn't about trying to cure Jiang Shaopeng's disability. I fell in love with Yang Zixiang's eagerness and how soft their relationship is. It made me cry a couple of times. It was really cute (except for a scene of sexual assault in the past of one of the female characters). There are a couple of lines I should print and stick to my forehead to read them every time I see myself in the mirror, like this one:

Something I also loved about this one but it's not about the show itself but regarding any show in chinese, it's when I can understand the dialogues. It makes me ridiculously happy.

Last weekend, I forgot to include El Secreto del Río here, but now I'm doing it. I didn't watch more episodes, but I'm gonna do it when I want to finish my embroidery project. I am keeping the project mostly a secret because I've been posting about it with a secret identity, bwhahaha. I run a lot of experiments online 🤫​... I'm always exploring and trying to see where certain things work best and where I feel more comfortable. I must say, every place has its pros and cons from a user perspective and for finding what everyone needs and wants. It's interesting to see how people act (including myself).

I also finished Futtara Doshaburi, and damn, I really liked it. It really cements my opinion that I vibe a lot with Japanese BL. I like the pace and the way some stuff is treated. This series touches on very sensitive topics, and some people didn't like how they showed asexuality. I found it very beautifully done and also very raw. As someone who has experienced not only one side of some things portrayed about both couples, I found it very honest about how difficult communicating can be and how easy it is to hurt someone you care about without wanting to do it. Every character is flawed in their own way, and I liked that.

I watched another episode of Winter Begonia. I like how now that I'm rewatching the first episodes, I can appreciate so many details, and I am very, very fond of Shang Xirui, not just because of how chaotic he is, nope. But also, I like seeing the relationship between him and Cheng Fengtai grow. It's such a gorgeous show.

And I also started Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung. The tone is very different from the Thai shows I've been so enamored with lately (also, it's not a BL, to begin with... I do not watch BL solely) and also the cdramas. I liked the first episode a lot. It made me laugh at the reference to Werther (the book the protagonist is reading to a group of noble ladies), and I also liked how honestHae Ryung is about not liking the popular romance novel everyone is reading. I liked that the show introduces our protagonist, the naive prince, and the minister who wants to ban books. I'm looking forward to the rest of this drama, for a change, and to go back to the kind of shows that made me start this journey. I think I've mentioned the first ones I watched before delving into the world of Asian BL were: Extraordinary Attorney Woo, The King's Affection, and Love in the Moonlight.

Those are a lot of things to be watching, right? But I like having variety to choose from because I'm not always in the mood for certain things. And then again, sometimes I even go and add something else on a whim or rewatch something I already finished (like I'm doing with The Heartkillers).

Another rollercoaster of a week. Not for the same reasons, though. I posted about my conflicted feelings about something that happened at work and how it shook me on a deep level. That was one thing. Then more things happened, and I've felt exhausted about those too, but I really don't wanna talk about that here. Then the fridge broke, and I seriously started to question if I'm cursed or if it's my karma or what, because things just keep happening one after the other... The thing is, I don't necessarily believe in supernatural stuff... so... yeah... let's say it's all coincidence *sigh*

Anyway, despite everything, at least work isn't kicking my ass with the same intensity this week. For a moment, I thought it was because I suddenly started doing so much stuff and organizing my time better, but then I realized our regular monthly goal is just half for some reason, and wow, the difference is enormous.

And today I did so much stuff and was feeling overwhelmed by [redacted] that I almost didn't want to write this post. But I promised myself I would do it, because I need to keep practicing some consistency, so here we are.

• Married Thrice to Salted Fish (novel) - Chapter 84 (We're back on track, slowly, but I'm confident I can do it! I missed Imperial Doctor Lin and his husband​)
• Cosmetic Playlover (manga) - End of Volume 4 (I need to set a reminder for this... because seriously... and it's not even that there's so much left, but the tab I had it open on my phone closed, and that doesn't help. Maybe this post serves as a reminder to open a new tab so every time I check the browser, I read a bit)

• Futtara Doshaburi (Japanese BL) - weekly, on Thursdays, 6/7 episodes
• Winter Begonia (Chinese drama) - weekly, weekends, 2/49 episodes
• Ossan's Love Thailand (Thai BL) - weekly, on Mondays, 5/12 episodes
• See Your Love (Taiwanese BL) - no schedule, 8/13 episodes

• The Heartkillers (Thai BL) - 12/12 episodes

I haven't watched See Your Love either because I really don't have much space in my head right now, but it's fine. As soon as I finish the extra work, I'm going to binge-watch that one.

I watched episode 6 of Futtara Doshaburi because episode 5 ended on a cliffhanger, and I needed to know what would happen next. Also, 30 minutes is easier than 45 or 60... it's the time it takes to eat a snack. And this show is... I didn't expect all the things it touches on... I admit, sometimes it's even uncomfortably relatable in more than one way. Only one episode left, but I think I'll wait until the weekend to watch it in case it's too much emotionally.

I also watched episode 2 of Winter Begonia and... damn, Huang Xiao Ming is so handsome. I really like his smile, and the story is captivating. I wish I had more time to watch more cdramas because there are so many I want to watch, but they're a commitment with the number of episodes and their lenght. Anyway, I like the watch party because I like the feeling of not watching alone 😅

• Married Thrice to Salted Fish (novel) - Chapter 82.2 (no progress​)
• Cosmetic Playlover (manga) - End of Volume 4 (no progress, again, again, again 😩​)

• The Heartkillers (Thai BL) - weekly, on Wednesdays, 11/12 episodes
• Ossan's Love Thailand (Thai BL) - weekly, on Mondays, 5/12 episodes
• Futtara Doshaburi (Japanese BL) - weekly, on Thursdays, 5/7 episodes
• See Your Love (Taiwanese BL) - no schedule, 8/13 episodes
• Winter Begonia (Chinese drama) - weekly, weekends, 1/49 episodes

Futtara Doshaburi is messy. But it surprised me because I started watching it just to have something to watch on Thursdays, with zero expectations. It's about cheating but I like the layers. I like the exploration of failing realtionships. But I'm still curious about an aspect of the plot and one of the characters. And I don't know... some Japanese BL have something that hits a bit close to home. What I've liked about this one so far is the pacing and that the characters's life are so mundane. Only two more episodes of this one.

I watched some more of See Your Love and I like it a lot too, but haven't had time to comment. I want to, at some point (looks back at all the times I've said this about a show... ah... we'll see).

And I need to start my rewatch of the first 13 episodes of Winter Begonia. I miss Shang Xirui.

And I have new icons... I've been making some when I take breaks... It's FadelStyle u.u I'm kaing so many, I think I'm going to share them.

That's it for now.

• Married Thrice to Salted Fish (novel) - Chapter 82.2
• Cosmetic Playlover (manga) - End of Volume 4 (no progress, again 😩​)

• The Heartkillers (Thai BL) - weekly, on Wednesdays, 10/12 episodes
• Ossan's Love Thailand (Thai BL) - weekly, on Mondays, 4/12 episodes
• Futtara Doshaburi (Japanese BL) - weekly, on Thursdays, 4/7 episodes
• See Your Love (Taiwanese BL) - no schedule, 4/13 episodes
• Winter Begonia (Chinese drama) - weekly, weekends, 1/49 episodes

• เจ้าความรัก (Hurt Me Please) Ost.THE HEART KILLERS เขาจ้างให้ผมจีบนักฆ่า - Joong Archen

• Hidden Agenda (Thai BL) - 12/12 episodes

Last week I wanted to write something about Yatgarasu but I didn't do it. But now I want to rewatch it. I hope I can do it soon, but I seem to keep accumulating main quests and side quests and free time is less and less. Haha.

I admit that I'm a bit confused about the chapter counting of Married Thrice, but that's ok. At least I could read a bit today, because this past week my rain refused to read anything at all besides work and that's very frustrating.

In other news, The Heartkillers has taken over my brain. It's a fun show, a bit nonsensical, and I have to do a lot of suspension of disbelief but I am enjoying it a lot. I fell in love with Fadel, the character played by Joong Archen, and it has made me very emotional for the past four weeks. I cannot shut up about him and I have even  started a couple of fics. It makes me go nuts and I cannot shut up about it. There are only two episodes left and I just learned there's a "curse of the 11th episode" or something, but I have learned to keep my expectations low so I don't get disappointed, but I really hope we get an interesting finale.

Ossan's Love Thailand has been a fun watch for Mondays. It makes me laugh a lot, and the fact that it has Earth Pirapat and Mix Sahaphap is a plus for me. I haven't watched the original (JP) but I want to, at some point.

Futtara Doshaburi is messy and the promise of a bit of toxicity makes me go 👀, because of course.

I also started See Your Love, out of curiosity, because one of the characters is deaf and because it's my second Taiwanese BL ever. Also, the episodes are short. The first episode made me cry a bit and gave me family feels, so I kept watching.

As I already said, this weekend started the Winter Begonia watch party on fedi, hosted by geraineon. It's the third time I start it. The first time I got distracted because we started watching Nirvana in Fire, and then I watched Joy of Life 1 and 2, and by the time I wanted to keep watching Winter Begonia, I had to start over. I made it to episode 14 and then I don't remember what distracted me. I don't know, maybe it's the fact that it's long and it felt a bit lonely watching it by myself. This reminds me I have a drafted post about my reactions to episode 1, so I'm gonna post it in a bit.

Finally... Yes, I finished watching Hidden Agenda. It was all Joong's fault, because I'm a bit infatuated with him at the moment and I wanted to see him more. The drama was just ok. I read some reviews that said it was the most boring drama or that it's so bad my brain would melt and what not... and that's why I don't trust reviews from internet randos, lol. It sounds mean, but I usually prefer to just discover things by myself. Watching this wasn't my wisest decision but at least I got to see Joong's handsome face and... surprisingly, some moments of the last three episodes hit a bit too close to home and I actually cried, ha.

Not everything I watch has to be highly intelectual or deep, or anything. Sometimes watching a drama because there's a handsome actor in it is what my heart needs. I don't know if I am brave enough to watch other dramas with a younger Joong, though 😅​

• Married Thrice to Salted Fish (novel) - Chapter 71
• Cosmetic Playlover (manga) - End of Volume 4

• The Heartkillers (Thai BL) : weekly, on Wednesdays, 8/12 episodes
• Ossan's Love Thailand (Thai BL) - weekly, on Mondays, 2/12 episodes
• Futtara Doshaburi (Japanese BL) - weekly, on Thursdays, 2/7 episodes
• Yatagarasu (Anime) - no schedule, 8/20 episodes

• Every You, Every Me (Thai BL) - 8 episodes

• January: a book by an author from a country far from yours
• February: a book that someone dear to you chose for you
• March: a book with your favorite color on the cover
• April: a book you would have liked to read as a child
• May: a book adapted from other media
• June: a book by an lgbtqia author
• July: a book someone you admire liked
• August: a book that someone recommended on the internet
• September: a book by an author from your country
• October: a book that has to do with language/languages
• November: a fantasy or science fiction novel
• December: whatever book you want