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Final update of the year, on the very last day of the year (where I’m from… I know it’s already 2026 in the other half of the world, but whatever).

This sure has been… a year… and I don’t want a repeat. Not that it’s possible, but you know what I mean. Here’s to better things in 2026: fewer shitty non-curses, fewer mental breakdowns, less poverty, more joy.

I can say that besides my kid’s existence and needs (and not wanting to traumatize him further), this ridiculous endeavor of mine to watch as many BL dramas as possible is one of the things that has kept me alive this year. And for that… I don’t know if I should say I’m grateful, but here I am… for better or worse.

I want to apologize for being a dark presence instead of a ray of sunshine or hope. I’m really sorry if I made you feel down or sad at any point this year with my stories or whatever. I’m only human, and sometimes I need to let things out or I’m at risk of exploding, iykwim.

Anywaaaaaaaay, the update:

Finished watching

Dramas

Me and Who (Thai BL) – 10 episodes
Mystique in the Mirror (Thai BL) – 8 episodes
ClaireBell (Thai GL) – 8 episodes
Thundercloud Rainstorm (Korean BL) – 8 episodes
Heated Rivalry (Canadian mini series) – 6 episodes
School Trip: Joined a Group I’m Not Close to (Japanese BL) – 10 episodes
Love Sea: The Home for Lovers (Japanese BL) – 12 episodes

Movies

Dangerous Drugs of Sex (Japanese film)

Currently writing

Khemjira Fic - 5795 words (Whaaaaaat???!!!)
Secret omegaverse story - 1578

Currently reading

SVSSS Vol. 4 - Chapter 26
Counterattack - Chapter 198
Panguan - Chapter 40

Currently watching

Dramas

Goddess Bless You From Death (Thai BL) – Fridays – 9/13 episodes
Interminable (Thai BL) – Fridays – 8/11 episodes
Me and Thee (Thai BL) – Saturdays – 7/10 episodes
Burnout Syndrome (Thai BL) – Wednesdays – 5/10 episodes
KinnPorsche (Thai BL) – No Schedule – 3/14 episodes
Dare You To Death (Thai BL) – Thursdays – 2/10 episodes
Runaway (Thai GL) – No schedule – 2/8 episodes

Documentary

Debo, puedo y quiero: Juan Gabriel (Mexican documentary) – No Schedule – 3/4 episodes

Anime

Sanrio Danshi – No schedule – 8/12 episodes

Reality show

DMD Friendship Reality, the Third Chapter – No schedule – 2/10 episodes

On hold

Anime

Komi Can’t Communicate – No schedule – 4/24 episodes
Rokuhōdō Yotsuiro Biyori – No schedule – 2/12 episodes

Dramas

The Bangkok Boy (Thai BL) – No schedule – 2/12 episodes
Perfect 10 Liners (Thai BL) – No schedule – 4/24 episodes
The Long Ballad (Chinese Drama) – No schedule – 5/49 episodes
Theory of Love (Thai BL) – No schedule – 2/12 episodes

It’s been a month since the last update, and I’ve finished a lot of shows… partly taking advantage of my free time (winter break at my job; working for a “university” has its hidden blessings). That helped, and I wanted to watch more, but these are busy days and everybody seems to want to hang out, so it hasn’t been possible.

I’ve also been writing, and feeling down or overwhelmed, depending on my hormones, the weather, or my family… you know how it is. December is an overwhelming month. I don’t like it that much, honestly, but what am I gonna do? I really can’t just hibernate, as much as I’d love to… lol.

Anyway, I’m going to try to be brief, or I won’t finish this today.

First of all, the ones I finished:

Me and Who. This one was so fun and sweet. I honestly had a great time watching it week to week, even though some things really didn’t make sense or lacked explanation… and I love knowing everything. I really wanted to know about Ya’s family mind reading ability, for example. I also liked BigPark’s chemistry; they’re adorable and sweet, and now I want to watch Monster Next Door thanks to them. Also, I don’t know if lately I’ve just been in the mood for silly and sweet or what, because usually I’m more inclined toward plot heavy or darker stories, but I’ve been enjoying the silliness and the romance, despite being very averse to it irl :D

Mystique in the Mirror. This one kept me intrigued from start to end. I really didn’t want to venture too many theories about what was really going on, but I suspected it, and in the end I cried. It was good, and I liked it a lot despite a few things that felt a bit unnecessary (like the second couple… don’t get me wrong, they were kind of sweet, but I didn’t feel like their romance added something to the main story, and it took me out of it sometimes). I really don’t want to go into much detail because almost everything can qualify as a spoiler for this one. Just, if you are too sensitive to mental illness and death, maybe stay away.

ClaireBell. This is officially the first GL I’ve ever watched, and it became one of my favorite dramas of this year! Now I really want to explore more GLs, so I’ll take recommendations. I loved so many aspects of this one. For starters, that it’s set in prison, which meant there was going to be violence, sadness, injustice, and morally questionable characters… and it didn’t disappoint. A surprise was seeing Pond Ponlawit in it; he’s an actor I’ve come to admire this year after watching Reset. But I’m digressing. I really enjoyed seeing the characters develop, not just Claire and Bell. I loved seeing their stories and their evolution. I also loved the mix of sweetness and sadness in Claire and Bell’s relationship. Of course I cried a couple of times, and not just for them. Another aspect I really liked was the cinematography. I don’t know, I just enjoyed it so much. These women are incredibly talented. As an aside, I randomly discovered that Farida (Duen) speaks a little Spanish, and she seems like such a sweet girl.

Thundercloud Rainstorm. I enjoyed the first half more, where it was messier, angstier, and darker. Not that it became incredibly fluffy in the second half or anything, but the mood kind of switched a bit. But I like it overall.

Heated Rivalry. I almost don’t want to mention it because this one seems to be starting to divide opinions, and not in a good way, but I enjoyed it a lot. I said on fedi that maybe I feel like if I weren’t as horny as I am (horny not as a transitory state but as an inherent quality of my being) and if I hadn’t read so much horny fanfiction over the years, I wouldn’t have enjoyed it as much as I did… It made me feel things, and I always appreciate that. Do I think of it as groundbreaking? Not really, no. But I see why some people are so marveled by it, being their first contact with a certain kind of story… Maybe a couple of years ago, before I delved into Asian BL, my reaction would have been different (like many other people who mostly watch Western dramas), or maybe I would have avoided it because anything that’s highly hyped makes me almost immediately not want to watch it (see GoT, Stranger Things… etc.). Anyway, I liked it. I enjoyed it. I get why people don’t.

School Trip: Joined a Group I’m Not Close to. It was sweet, cute, charming, and I adored every bit of it. It very much reminded me of My Love Mix-Up and I Cannot Reach You. I loved Watarai and Hioki so much. I still need to watch the special episode, but I suppose that will have to wait until 2026 :D I mentioned this as the sweetest romance I watched this year in the End of the Year Challenge over on fedi.

Love Sea: The Home for Lovers. This one is an adaptation of a Thai series. It’s written by MAME, and I haven’t watched the original, but judging by the comments, I don’t know if I’m going to. I enjoyed this one. I don’t know if I could endure 10 episodes of that plot but twice as long. The NC scenes were good, too, imo.

Dangerous Drugs of Sex. I watched this because one of my mutuals elsewhere mentioned they’d seen it and listed the trigger warnings, so of course I was going to give it a try: very toxic, very graphic, non-con, kidnapping, captivity, bondage, manipulation, psychological torture, grief, trauma, suicidal ideation… I liked it. A lot. It helped me get out of a very dark mood yesterday, and I don’t know what that says about me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now the ones I’m watching:

Goddess Bless You From Death. I like this one. It has been consistently spooky. Right now I’m a bit confused by the plot, but I’m just going with the flow, waiting for events to be explained at some point (not trying too hard to come up with theories) and enjoying the supernatural elements. That’s still my favorite part. I’m having a lot of fun.

Interminable. I keep watching, but it’s very slow. Very. Sometimes it feels like a chore. There are three episodes left, so I’m gonna finish it, but I didn’t think it would live up to its name ToT Billy and Babe are gorgeous in it, though.

Me and Thee. I adore it. I love Theerakit Kian Lee with all my heart. He’s so extra and so out there. And it’s so funny. I laugh a lot, but it’s had very sweet moments too. It genuinely makes me so happy, and I look forward to every episode each week.

Burnout Syndrome. I’m enjoying this one very much. Every single episode makes me feel a lot of things, and it’s visually beautiful, very artsy. And goddammit, I wish they would give us DewGun for real and not just tease us with it. It’s like they’re edging us, but the frustrating part is that there will be no reward, you know? I know it in my bones. I’m still loving it. I’ve seen people who struggle with it because they don’t feel like they can root for any of the characters, and I get it… but that’s precisely the kind of story that makes me go feral. I’ve also seen people say they won’t like it if they redeem Koh (Off’s character), but I have a whole lot to say about that tendency to hate when they forgive characters in Asian dramas : ) Not here, though… somewhere, someday…

KinnPorsche. I finally started watching it. I’ve only watched three episodes since I wanted to finish the Japanese dramas before the year ended. I watched the first one very drunk, while drinking a lot of water, trying to get less drunk before going to bed to avoid a disaster. And I enjoyed it. I remember I tried to watch it even before I watched The Untamed. I got a monthly subscription to iQIYI and was exploring the options without really knowing much about Thai BL, but I wasn’t ready. Now I’ve watched Shine (one of my favorite dramas of this year) and Man Suang (back then I didn’t know who Mile or Apo were, so I went in blind, and I don’t remember much of it), so I thought it would be a good idea to watch this classic of Thai BL, and I’m enjoying it. If I have the mental energy, maybe I can finish it this week, before going back to work next Monday.

Dare You To Death. It’s not good so far. We’ll see if I finish it or drop it. It’s a shame because I’m fond of JoongDunk, but it’s just not doing it for me.

Runaway. Need to get back to this one. But maybe I’m going to restart it.

Ah, yes. I'm also watching a reality show... DMD Friendship The Third Chapter. I'm rooting for my adopted son, Pung Phirunwat. Also, now all the other boys are my nephews, except Porsche Sitha, who can be my compadre.

Look, my list isn’t very long now, and I’m very proud of myself, but I don’t know how long I’ll resist before adding a ton more shows to watch lol. I want to watch more older shows and shows from different countries, like the Philippines or Vietnam. I also want to get back to the ones I have on hold. And watch more anime, and write more, and and and… I don’t do New Year’s resolutions; I just try to do my best and all that.

If 2025 was a shitty year for you, I hope 2026 is better.

See you on the other side, with more updates… at some point.

Current Music: Jeff Satur - ของขวัญปีใหม่ (Golden Night)

Meme stolen from

shipperslist :D

a song you discovered this month

Feel Good - Charlotte Cardin

Just today, to be precise. Someone showed it to me in one of those "choose a number and I'll give you a song from my most played of this year" games

Watch on YouTube

The year is coming to an end and I'm... distressed. The christmas stuff is overwhelming and stressful, there are two events at work, and there's also the lack of sunlight (not extreme like the far north, but my body and my brain still resent it). I need to go and sit under the sun for five minutes periodically, and keep drinking warm water to be at least a little bit warm. And I wish every day I could just hibernate and wake up when there's a bit more sunlight. Gosh, I wish I could live in a place where the weather is always mild, or be able to migrate south for the winter, like a bird. Anyway, here’s my update.

Finished watching
Dramas

Zomvivor (Thai Drama) – 7 episodes
The Cursed Love (Thai BL) – 10 episodes
Punks Triangle (Japanese BL) – 8 episodes
The Wicked Game (Thai BL) – 10 episodes

Currently writing

Khemjira Fic - 4016 words
Secret omegaverse story - 1578

Currently reading

SVSSS Vol. 4 - Chapter 26
Counterattack - Chapter 198
Panguan - Chapter 31

Currently watching
Dramas

Me and Who (Thai BL) – Fridays – 8/10 episodes
Mystique in the Mirror (Thai BL) – Wednesdays – 6/8 episodes
Goddess Bless You From Death (Thai BL) – Fridays – 5/13 episodes
Runaway (Thai GL) – Tuesdays – 2/8 episodes
ClaireBell (Thai GL) – Saturdays – 4/8 episodes
Interminable (Thai BL) – Fridays – 4/11 episodes
Me and Thee (Thai BL) – Saturdays – 3/10 episodes
Burnout Syndrome (Thai BL) – Wednesdays – 1/10 episodes
Thundercloud Rainstorm (Korean BL) – Fridays – 2/8 episodes
Heated Rivalry (Canadian mini series) – Fridays (?) – 1/6 episodes

Documentary

Debo, puedo y quiero: Juan Gabriel (Mexican documentary) – No Schedule – 3/4 episodes

Anime

Sanrio Danshi – No schedule – 8/12 episodes

On Hold

Anime

Komi Can’t Communicate – No schedule – 4/24 episodes
Rokuhōdō Yotsuiro Biyori – No schedule – 2/12 episodes

Dramas

The Bangkok Boy (Thai BL) – No schedule – 2/12 episodes
Perfect 10 Liners (Thai BL) – No schedule – 4/24 episodes
The Long Ballad (Chinese Drama) – No schedule – 5/49 episodes
Theory of Love (Thai BL) – No schedule – 2/12 episodes

Last time I posted an update, I wrote this: “As expected, I've started watching a ton of things again.” And guess what? Well, you can probably guess.

Okay, but first, let’s talk about the things I finished watching:

Zomvivor: I admit most of the characters were a bit exasperating most of the time, but I don’t know… I feel like I’ve become more and more forgiving. I ended up liking the show, and now that there seem to be plans for a second season, I’m curious. I saw many folks were pissed about the ending, but I wasn't. First of all, because I’ve never hated open endings; they’ve been part of my media diet growing up, so they don’t bother me at all. Second, to me, it’s clear they planned to continue the story. Third, even though I can seem full of rage about some stuff, there are things I just can’t be mad about because anger is very energy-consuming, and nowadays I try to be more conscious about what I spend my energy on. Anyway, if there’s really a second season, hopefully we won’t have to wait as many years as people waited for this one.

The Cursed Love: At times it was a bit of a chore to keep watching, but there were enough elements to keep me curious. Sadly, the script was also a bit messy and felt very incomplete somehow. I kinda liked the ending because I’m a sucker for that kind of finale, though.

Spoilers ahead, in case anyone here cares lol

I liked that Siwat ended up dying because it fit the title of the show. I assume the new guy with Siwat's face who showed up at the end is going to be some sort of reincarnation? No idea how, but who are very physically alike do exist, so maybe his soul just chose a new vessel who looks a lot like his past incarnation? I don’t even know. I usually like to think about what could happen post-canon, and if I were more invested in this story, I would even try to write (or think about) a fic, but alas. I usually like endings where everybody dies, but one of the deaths here felt pointless and undeserved.

And, not gonna lie, the whole time I kept thinking: “this is a situation that polyamory would solve… whatever these three have going on.” But I know asking for a poly BL might be a bit much still. That reminds me that I want to watch Two Husbands One Wife and Three Will Be Free. But going back to this show: it was an interesting premise, but the execution could have been much better. The actor who played Siwat was very pretty.

Punks Triangle: I ended up bingeing episodes 1-7 last Sunday when existential dread attacked again, and it was fun and cute. I really appreciate Japanese BLs; they have a very particular vibe I like a lot. And I really need to watch more of them. According to MDL, where I’ve tracked all the Japanese BLs I’ve seen, I’ve only watched 23. That’s kinda outrageous. But talking specifically about this one, I really liked the struggles of the protagonists, each with their own insecurities and their craving for connection. It has some very sexy moments that made me blush even though they’re not explicit at all. I love when a series does that with an ear touch or... fingers in a mouth. I am a sucker (lol) for fingers in mouth scenes. It makes me think of Old Fashion Cupcake and My Personal Weatherman off the top of my head… anyway, I liked this one.

The Wicked Game: I’ve talked about my philosophy of not having high expectations, and how it saves me from big disappointments, right? Well, it helped a lot in this case. I admit I enjoyed it; it was fun and unhinged, and very telenovelesca, but I kinda wanted it to go the dark route.

Spoilers ahead

It gave me Risa as the winner of the wicked game (sorry, sorry), but very briefly. For a moment, I thought Chet and Peem were both dead, but since we never saw Peem’s corpse, I knew he wasn’t, and that was what disappointed me. Another disappointing thing was that they didn’t give us even a little kiss between Chet and Park, but I’m letting that one slide because Park ended up being killed by Risa’s bodyguard after he killed Risa, and that kind of devotion is also very sexy, so… yeah. Again, I like “everyone dies” finales, and I kinda wanted this one to be like that… better luck next time, I guess. In the end, Than inherited everything Peem left him after faking his death, and then Peem came back with a new name to start over. I just hope Than doesn’t insist on going back to being a cop, because ew, dude. He can clean his name, and then maybe open a restaurant. I don’t know.

I enjoyed it overall, but yeah, I wanted it to be darker than it was. But again, I’m not really mad.

I'm not gonna talk about every show I’m watching or I’ll never end this update.

I keep enjoying Me and Thee. It makes me laugh a lot, but it has tender moments too. I immediately adopted Theerakit Kian Lee. He’s my adopted son now. I just love how over the top and socially awkward he is. I love the patience Peach has for him, and how Thee is learning how to behave like a normal person lol. Some of his behavior reminds me of myself, and maybe that’s one of the reasons I immediately fell in love with him: he memorizes the lines of his favorite shows and uses them as his own lines in everyday life, and he needs to be told about some very basic stuff that people take for granted because he genuinely doesn’t understand. Yeah… Anyway, it’s been a delight, and I look forward to every new episode.

I haven’t watched this week’s episode of ClaireBell because I was busy yesterday, and today I was very out of it—very distracted and unable to pay attention to anything—so I really didn’t watch anything today. But this one is so good (I hope episode 5 is good too). It makes my heart ache, but I like how this couple of girls have found each other in such a dark and terrible place. I’m sure things are gonna be a bit dark/violent in the next episodes, but that’s very fitting.

I started THREE new shows this week, so my watching list remains the same :) I don’t learn, but I don’t care. One of the things that keeps me interested in living are my little shows, so I’ll take it for as long as I can. The other big motive to stay alive is the kid, but as I’ve never been the ideal selfless parent, I need selfish motives too… things for myself only. Don’t judge me too harshly for this; we hold onto what we can.

I started Burnout Syndrome because when I watched the pilot trailer last year, it was one of the few that made me perk my ears up and go "wow, wow." The first episode was such a strong start. Jira (Gun Atthaphan) is an artist who struggles with being unemployed; he’s burnt out, or at least that’s what they’re calling it (he seems very depressed, I mean… it’s part of it too), and he’s also very broke. So yeah, yeah… been there, very relatable. He goes to an interview and the person interviewing him keeps asking if he knows how to use “AI”, and when he says he would prefer not to, the woman confronts him because his resume says he’s adaptable. That also felt like a punch in the gut, because those same words have been used against me in very similar circumstances regarding “AI” too. Then, Ing, his friend, sends him to a bar “to heal,” and he ends up meeting Pheem (Dew Jirawat). Later, Ing also gets him a companionship gig that goes wrong, and there he meets Koh (Off Jumpol), who ends up hiring him as a companion (different guy from the failed gig). It’s going to be messy, or at least it seems like it, but gosh… the colors, the music, the whole mood were exquisite. I also like how they incorporate the art in the episode. They hired an artist, and I think I fell in love with her art. If she ever sells prints, I’d love to buy one (or more). It’s very sensual art. This is her account: naisu.chirat

The other show I started is a Korean BL called Thundercloud Rainstorm. Discord pals lured me in with talk of a “toxic, incestuous relationship, and very sexy.” Of course, I had to give it a chance. I liked the first two episodes. It’s going to be short; we’ll see how it goes.

Lastly, also thanks to the Discord pals, I started watching Heated Rivalry. This one is Canadian. It’s about two hockey players who are rivals but become fuck buddies, and, if I remember correctly, they also end up falling in love at some point. The first episode was good; very high heat, as the title suggests. I haven’t watched episode 2 because I’ve been struggling a bit this weekend, but I hope to catch up before the next one is released.

From the shows I didn’t go into detail here, I’m just gonna list them in the order I’m enjoying and looking forward to them the most:

Me and Who (Thai BL) – This one is so cute and I’m enjoying the main couple a lot.
Goddess Bless You From Death (Thai BL) – This one keeps being scary. The ghosts have given me jump scares every single episode lol. I’m also enjoying PoohPavel a lot. I like their dynamics, and in the last episode, Singha’s expressions when Thup approached him were chef's kiss.
Mystique in the Mirror (Thai BL) – I want to know what’s going ooooooooooooooon!
Interminable (Thai BL) – Still feels a bit slow but… butts. They showed unpixelated butts, also… Khun Yai is a menace with no game, and Kaewta is the prettiest.
Runaway (Thai GL) – Need to catch up on this one.

The next thing I want to talk about is how I’m enjoying writing my silly fics. But there are two: one is the Khemjira one, and I already have 4k words… I can’t believe it! I may even finish it before the year ends, but I don’t want to be too optimistic or ambitious. Then there’s the other one; it’s my first attempt at writing omegaverse, and even though it started as a way of venting about some corporeal stuff and is planned to mostly be PWP, I got sucked into several worldbuilding rabbit holes. I have been trying to figure out different aspects, like the anatomy I want to give the characters, the fricking scents, the suppressors, how it could affect certain kinds of jobs, etc. And even if I don’t end up integrating it all into the story, it’s interesting because, as a reader, I’ve always let myself be guided by whatever the authors chose to depict, and that was that, because it’s something each author can adapt and play with, so one story doesn’t dictate how others work. But writing is a whole different beast. A fun one, though. For now. I’m exhilarated because it’s been a while since I felt this need to write, so I’m letting myself enjoy it while it lasts. I also have another idea for a third fic, also based on Khemjira, but following a supporting character. It’s been weeks since I had the idea, but I haven’t written anything about it yet, not even the idea as a placeholder in my drafts, but I might need to do it ASAP. Every time I listen to “Ride or Die” by Jeff Satur, it reminds me of the idea, so, yeah…

And that’s it for now.

Current Music: Jeff Satur - ของขวัญปีใหม่ (Golden Night)

I don't think I talked here about the tragic end of my Yuri on Ice embroidery project, but it was mostly because one of my philosophical stances (although it might seem contradictory for someone with OCD… or maybe not) is to not cling to things (nor to people or feelings; it's complicated to explain and it has taken me a lot of time and effort, and I still don't think I've fully mastered it; I'd really have to become an ascetic or something, but that's another topic). This year, the rainy season was intense here in central Mexico: there were floods in other states and also in the north of the state where I live, which left many people with nothing. The humidity in the house where I live was so intense that everything felt constantly damp, and the rains gave us no break to let anything dry. That's what ruined my embroidery, although it wasn't the only casualty: it also affected clothes and some books. But that's how things are when you live in a semi-ruin (the beauties of being poor, huh? At least I didn't lose everything. At least I can sit here and write this today). So, losing a WIP that I had already abandoned due to my internal crises and because sometimes I'm just not in the mood to do certain things (like embroider) didn't seem like a big deal. Of course, I felt a sense of powerlessness, but in the grand scheme of things, it was something easy to let go of, especially when daily life never stops bombarding me with its constant demands and I'm just one person, with limited strength and time... But, anyway, that's what happened: the embroidery was ruined. On to the next thing!

I'm not telling you this so you'll feel pity or sorry for me… it's just… I'm just telling the story, that's all…

Now then, for the other updates.

Currently writing

Khemjira Fic - 2510 words

Finished watching
Dramas

The Story of Bihyeong (Korean BL) – 12 episodes

Currently reading

SVSSS Vol. 4 - Chapter 26
Counterattack - Chapter 198
Panguan - Chapter 30

Currently watching
Dramas

Zomvivor (Thai Drama) – No schedule – 6/7 episodes
The Wicked Game (Thai BL) – Saturdays – 8/10 episodes
Me and Who (Thai BL) – Fridays – 6/10 episodes
The Cursed Love (Thai BL) – Wednesdays? – 6/10 episodes
Mystique in the Mirror (Thai BL) – Wednesdays – 4/8 episodes
Goddess Bless You From Death (Thai BL) – Fridays – 3/13 episodes
Runaway (Thai GL) – Tuesdays – 2/8 episodes
ClaireBell (Thai GL) – Saturdays – 3/8 episodes
Interminable (Thai BL) – Fridays – 2/11 episodes
Me and Thee (Thai BL) – Saturdays – 1/10 episodes
The Long Ballad (Chinese Drama) – No schedule – 5/49 episodes
Theory of Love (Thai BL) – No schedule – 2/12 episodes

Documentary

Debo, puedo y quiero: Juan Gabriel (Mexican documentary) – No Schedule – 2/4 episodes

On Hold

Anime

Sanrio Danshi – No schedule – 7/12 episodes
Komi Can’t Communicate – No schedule – 4/24 episodes
Rokuhōdō Yotsuiro Biyori – No schedule – 2/12 episodes

Dramas

The Bangkok Boy (Thai BL) – No schedule – 2/12 episodes
Perfect 10 Liners (Thai BL) – No schedule – 4/24 episodes

As expected, I've started watching a ton of things again. But this time I want to at least finish The Bangkok Boy and also watch some classics. I'm determined to finally watch KinnPorsche.

I started Zomvivor on Halloween because of the hype, and so far I've liked it. A lot of people didn't like the ending, but I can't judge yet since I haven't seen it. I think I also got lucky, because I saw that Domundi (if they didn't confirm it) at least hinted that there will be a second season, and I think that was the reason for many people's dissatisfaction: that it ended on a cliffhanger or something like that. It's funny, but last night I watched episode 5 and I dreamed that I was with other people escaping from and killing zombies, but I wasn't scared and I didn't wake up startled. I don't know if I'm becoming desensitized to the horror genre or what… I say this because I'm also watching Goddess Bless You From Death and while I'm watching the episodes, the ghosts don't really scare me that much (even though they’re really creepy); the fear comes later, when I have to go to the bathroom or go downstairs to fill my water bottle in the middle of the darkness (my phone's flashlight doesn't help much) and my very considerate brain visualizes ghosts in the shadows. It's not pleasant.

Speaking of Goddess Bless You From Death, this is the first PoohPavel series I've watched. I tried to watch Pit Babe, but I just couldn't. I started the first episode three times on different occasions and on two of them I fell asleep. The third time I did finish it, but it didn't grab me… oh well. Not everything is for everyone, nor does everything captivate us in the same way. This one, on the contrary, hooked me from the start and keeps me curious. And it does scare me a bit, but not enough to make me stop watching. Also, I think I got a little spoiled when I read a sample of the novel, but I decided to wait to read the whole thing until after I've watched the series. I think that's best, so I won't have too many expectations, haha.

I'm trying (with little success) not to get swept up by fomo, and I'm really not watching anywhere near all the series I'd like to (or that are airing), but that's okay. I've never been shy about being selective, although sometimes I wish I could watch everything just out of curiosity. I guess someday I'll give a chance to several of the things I'm missing out on now, like various currently airing Japanese BLs and some that have already finished, but I'd really rather binge them. I think I'll use part of my winter vacation to do that.

There are two weeks left until the end of The Wicked Game (with DaouOffroad) and it's been a fun experience. Very soap-opera-like, very toxic. It's not my favorite at the moment, but it's very entertaining and it even gave me an idea for a fic. That led me to do research for that fic, and then to an interesting conversation on Fedi, where I discovered that, apparently, if I write it, I'll be able to acquire my "hardcore pervert" status (I love it, I love it; and even though it was all in jest, I would love to claim that badge, hahaha).

The Cursed Love isn't that great either, but it has been entertaining and it made me read a bit about Brahmanism. I find one of the main characters extremely handsome. The premise is interesting, so that keeps me watching.

Me and Who is still fun and adorable, although there are aspects that seem like plot holes, but I feel it's too early to tell, because the story isn't complete yet and it might just be missing information. We'll see. The important thing is that it's one of those series that isn't too intense and that always makes me laugh at some point, which I appreciate.

Mystique in the Mirror is still a mystery, but I already have some theories about what might be going on, and it also keeps me intrigued. I'd also like to read the novel this series is based on, but I'll do it afterwards, so I don't spoil anything for myself. It's not that I'm absolutely against spoilers, but I prefer to wait. I know there are people who don't like reading the source BL Thai novels, but I do; sometimes there are aspects that are explained in more detail in them, especially those related to culture or religion, and I'm a sucker for footnotes.

Another series I started, and one I'd been waiting for since it was announced, is Interminable. It's the second project from BillyBabe as a branded pair, and I loved them in The Sign… This is a story about ghosts, curses, reincarnation, and a main character who is a Thai classical dancer (right now I don't remember the specific type, and if I go look it up, I'll lose the thread of this post). There have only been two episodes so far and they've been a bit slow, but I'm not going to miss every new episode, I’m going to devour them each week. As I've said, that kind of plot really appeals to me, especially because I like seeing the different approaches they take on the theme of karma and reincarnation (not necessarily because I love the idea of fated lovers, in fact, I think that’s the least interesting part for me). Plus, you can tell they invested quite a bit in the production. Just Babe's costumes as a dancer are stunning.

A very notable thing that happened in the last couple of weeks is that I started watching two GL series. The first ones in my life, I think, at least that I remember. I have read sapphic stories, but not in the context of Asian GL series. I started ClaireBell and Runaway. The latter has a premise somewhat similar to Khemjira, at least in the surface: a girl carrying karma from her past life is stalked by a vengeful ghost that wants to kill her when she turns 21, and the daughter of a shaman is the only one who can help her because their karma is intertwined. On the other hand, ClaireBell is set in a prison after the protagonist is accused of drug possession after someone planted them in her bag at a party. This series is really good; it just has me completely hooked, and I love that I followed my instinct and some people's recommendations to start it. I hope it stays that way until the end.

I also started watching Me and Thee and I had a blast; it was a lot of fun. We'll see how it continues.

At some point, I'll get back to Theory of Love and The Long Ballad, but I have a problem and I get easily distracted by new, shiny things. I'm sorry, I'm sorry… really. I also want to finish, at the very least, Sanrio Danshi from my anime list.

I've made a bit of progress with Panguan and I like it very, very much. I want to start participating more over here again, but it requires turning on the laptop and sometimes I just don't have the energy.

Ah, something else that's important, I think, is that I'm writing a Khemjira fic. It's something completely self indulgent, and at first I was a bit embarrassed at the thought of posting it, but then I told myself I could always just not post it, or post it anonymously. It's not even that it's super explicit or anything; I just think it's very cheesy, haha. I mean, the initial idea was a variant of sex pollen but the effects are caused by a cursed object, but the point is that the story appeared in my mind very clearly and one day I just had to start writing and writing, and I'm still writing. Little by little, but I think I'm getting somewhere, and it's fun, although now that I've reached certain explicit scenes (and they're cheesy on top of it, or maybe because of it), it gives me a sort of... I don't know what (cringe?), haha. It's just that I have to visualize certain positions and movements, because sometimes it's funny to read smut and imagine the positions from the descriptions, and sometimes it's just weird, haha. But I'm having a good time. And then, after I finish, will come the task of finding a beta reader… Anyway, anyway. If I don't talk much about it, it's because, even though Khemjira is still very popular (I think), I don't know anyone else besides one other person who is also writing a fic (in my circles, there are lots of people out there writing Khemjira fics)… and sometimes it bums me out not having anyone to talk to about it. Also, when I talk a lot about something I'm doing and people show a lot of enthusiasm, sometimes I feel pressured and lose the desire to continue… I know, I know… living with this brain 24/7 can be a really fun thing (sarcasm).

The post about Khemjira is also a work in progress, but it's just that I'm rewatching the episodes and taking notes. I'm not promising anything, but the intention is there.

And well, that's all for now.

Current Mood: blah

Finally, a proper update!!

Finished reading

Khemjira’s Rescue, by Cali

Finished watching

Dramas

Khemjira (Thai BL) - 12 episodes
I’m the Most Beautiful Count (Thai BL) - 13 episodes
The Journey to Kill You (Japanese BL) - 6 episodes

Movies

Dear Dakanda (Thailand, 2005)
Love Actually (UK, 2003)
Sinners (USA, 2025)
The Paradise of Thorns (Thailand, 2024)
Frankenstein (USA, 2025)

Reality show

DMD Frienship - 6 episodes

Currently reading

SVSSS Vol. 4 - Chapter 26
Counterattack - Chapter 198
Panguan - Chapter 22

Currently watching

Dramas

The Long Ballad (Chinese drama) – No schedule – 5/49 episodes
The Story of Bihyeong (Korean BL) –Thursdays – 10/12 episodes
The Wicked Game (Thai BL) – Saturdays – 6/10 episodes
Mystique in the Mirror (Thai BL) – Wednesdays – 2/8 episodes
Me and Who (Thai BL) – Fridays – 4/10 episodes
Theory of Love (Thai BL) – No schedule – 2/12 episodes
The Cursed Love (Thai BL) – No schedule (no idea what days is airing) – 3/10 episodes
Zomvivor (Thai drama) – No schedule – 1/7 episodes
Goddess Bless You From Death (Thai BL) – Fridays – 1/13 episodes

Documentary

Debo, puedo y quiero: Juan Gabriel (Mexican documentary) – No schedule – 2/4 episodes

On hold

Anime

Sanrio Danshi– No schedule – 7/12
Komi Can’t Communicate – No schedule – 4/24
Rokuhōdō Yotsuiro Biyori – No schedule – 2/12

Dramas

The Bangkok Boy (Thai BL) – No schedule – 2/12 episodes
Perfect 10 Liners (Thai BL) – No schedule – 4/24 episodes

I finished Khemjira on Saturday, October 25th, which means it's been over a week now, and I haven't gotten over it. In fact, I'm trying to write another post just about Khemjira, but it's taking me a bit of time to organize all my thoughts about it because there are so many.

I'm currently watching, once again, several shows that air weekly, and the schedule seems a bit more balanced throughout the week. There are a couple of series that are on hold and that I want to watch, but the thing is, my thoughts are still 80% focused on Khemjira.

On Friday, for example, I started writing down an idea for a fic that had been bouncing around in my head for days. I grabbed a notebook and started writing with a medium point blue Bic pen. I wrote many pages, and now I have to transcribe it, haha. I started doing that yesterday and didn't get very far. Today I've done a few things like laundry and ordering groceries, but I want to make some progress. I have a small problem in that regard, because one part involves some research, but every time I try to do it, I end up reading related things but not directly what I need for the fic. I say it's a problem as if I didn't love doing this, but I admit it doesn't help much with the specific process of writing the fic.

I also finished watching I’m the Most Beautiful Count and The Journey to Killing You. I liked the second one a lot more, although I would have loved to see more of the characters and their internal conflicts.

Normally, I really appreciate how compact Japanese BLs are, telling just what they need to in so few episodes, but sometimes I'm left wanting more. I guess in this case, I'll have to turn to the source material to satisfy that craving.

As for I’m the Most Beautiful Count, I liked it, but I felt it was missing something. The premise is interesting (plus it involves transmigration to a past era) but it's one of those cases where the different elements of the story don't quite come together to form a cohesive whole… I don't know how else to explain it. It was entertaining most of the time, but it was lacking… something, something like a final polish.

Something interesting about most of the series I'm currently watching is that they all have a supernatural, folkloric, or magical element. The Story of Bihyeong is about a dokkaebi and other creatures from Korean folklore; it's a simple but lovely story, I’m having so much fun watching it. Mystique in the Mirror is intriguing because I still don't know if it's a psychological thriller or a supernatural thriller, and I'm very curious. Me and Who is about an ordinary working class guy who, after being hit by a car (or was it a motorcycle? I don’t remember) on a rainy night, transmigrates into a different universe where he's the heir to a very wealthy family and is engaged, and his fiancé in that universe can read minds. The Cursed Love is about past lives, finding an ancient lost city, and powers to control the elements like in Avatar: The Last Airbender. Zomvivor… well, it's in the name, it's about zombies. And Goddess Bless You From Death involves violent crimes, strange rituals and beliefs in ghosts and deities. So it's evident what captures my interest the most these days, but also in general. I guess it's a bit like when I was young and obsessed with vampires.

At some point, I want to pick up The Long Ballad again this week.

Another drama I started and is now a bit on pause is Theory of Love. I started watching this series as part of an exercise proposed by someone in the sphere of mexican Thai BL fans. The person proposed it as a rewatch exercise, but with a twist: before watching each episode, watch the movie that inspired that episode's title. It's designed to watch one movie and one episode per week. I've seen the first two movies (Dear Dakanda and Love Actually), as well as the first two episodes. In my case, it's not a rewatch because I haven't seen the series before. But I have to confess something: based on how the series starts, I find it a bit hard to think of that couple as endgame, so most of the time I'm thinking that the best thing for the protagonist would be to get over his crush and move on with his life, find someone else… It sounds strange, because I think this is the first time this has happened to me since I started watching BL series.

I've watched several series where the couples aren't what I would consider a healthy pair, and some even have very toxic relationships (hahaha, damn, I can visualize certain people judging me for my tastes, even when they're no longer part of my circles, lol). But I don't know, I suppose many of those scenarios are very unrealistic, whereas having a crush on your university friend who doesn't even notice you exist, and who is also an asshole, is very realistic… or maybe not. The exercise initially seemed interesting to me, but when I made the list of movies, I think it didn't really motivate me much either, since almost all of them are romances or romantic comedies, and although I appreciate the genre for what it is and there are even a couple on the list that I genuinely like, the others didn't excite me much, especially since I've already seen many of them. I'm not usually opposed to revisiting movies or series I've already seen because I think distance helps you see them differently, with a different filter, with more baggage, understanding different kinds of references, but in this case, it's just not motivating me much. I'm still thinking about whether to continue or not. The idea excited me at first because I love searching for and learning about the references in works, and also seeing how they relate to each other. It's one of the things I love most about reading, watching series and movies, and listening to music. But well, I don't know. This is the movie list:

Dear Dakanda
Love Actually
Friends with Benefits
Crazy Stupid Love
10 Things I Hate About You
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Flipped
The Proposal
Love Triangle
Begin Again
He's Just Not That Into You
My Dear

Finally, this past week I watched three movies that I liked a lot. Last Sunday I had an invitation to a friend's bridal shower, but I had a fever that, although mild, was definitely going to prevent me from having a good time, so I ended up not going and, instead, watched Sinners with some pals on Discord. I liked it a lot; the music is fantastic.

Later in the week, on Wednesday night, I finally decided to watch The Paradise of Thorns (I didn’t watch it just because Keng Harit and Jeff Satur are in it, I swear), and it left me thinking about many things. Thailand legalized equal marriage last year, but when the movie was made, it hadn't happened yet, and that's one of the points that triggers the whole plot. It impacted me a lot, perhaps because I've lived in poverty for most of my life and, even without fully understanding the characters' specific circumstances, I think it's a movie that reflects the desperation of having nothing very well. There are many layers intertwined in the film, and I think the characters are complex, extremely human. But also, the cinematography is amazing. I liked it a lot, but I admit I suffered. And it's not a movie I would recommend lightly, for example. This film reaffirms my taste for Boss Kuno's work, whom I discovered this year (Gelboys, I Told Sunset About You).

And yesterday, I went with the kid to see Guillermo del Toro's Frankenstein. We went to see it at the movie theater in the local university's cultural complex. It was a great movie. Everything I expected and more. I'm a huge Guillermo del Toro fan. Also, I think Guillermo understands Gothic horror perfectly; the man has been obsessed with that theme forever, and that’s why I love his work too. Of course, I couldn't help but cry at a certain point in the movie, and I felt an enormous, enormous satisfaction when I heard the kid's sobs at that same part. When we left, I apologized for taking him to see a movie that I knew could have that effect on him, but he said no, that he had liked it a lot, and that he especially liked everything it says about what it means to be human. He specifically mentioned two passages: when William asks Victor which part of all the ones that conform a human being contains the soul, and also when Victor says the creature doesn't know the difference between being chained and mistreated, and not being so, and Elizabeth throws it in his face that Victor does know that difference. Afterwards, my son asked me to lend him the novel to read. Mission accomplished.

But if we're honest, watching those three movies in one week is a bit intense. I still have images from all three etched in my mind. But I'm not complaining, because I truly love it when a work leaves a deep impression on me.

Anyway, I'll keep trying to put my thoughts about Khemjira in order, both for the post and for my fic.

I also have to catch up on reading Panguan, and if time allows, maybe even finish Counterattack or SVSSS before the year ends. But I don't want to get ambitious, because I can rarely get things done when I try to bite off more than I can chew.

Current Music: อ๊อฟ สุรพล - โฮมขวัญ (Ost. Khemjira The Series)

This was supposed to be the update of September 25… Ha! It’s been a bit hard to even open my personal laptop, sit and write these little updates. I haven’t had much energy or motivation either, but figured I could write an update today, since my brain isn’t being so mean to me. It’s been hard these past couple of months, but I am not going to talk about it here because it’s dark and scary. I want to talk about it in a different post, because it’s related to one of the shows I’m watching and I think the emotional connection has influenced my obsession (with Khemjira).

Instead, let’s talk about things that give me joy. At least making a list of what I’ve finished watching.

Finished watching

Dramas

10 Things I Want to Do Before I Turn 40 (Japanese BL) – 12 episodes
Secret Lover (Taiwanese BL) – 12 episodes
Kill to Love (Chinese BL) - 12 episodes
Shine (Thai drama) – 8 episodes
My Magic Prophecy (Thai BL) – 10 episodes
My Stubborn Special Episode (Thai BL) – 2 episodes
My Secret Vampire (Korean BL) – 8 episodes
Desire (Chinese Omegaverse) – 16 episodes

Anime

The Summer Hikaru Died

Movies

The Medium (Thailand)
Nosferatu (Czech Republic/USA)

Currently reading

SVSSS Vol. 4 - Chapter 26
Counterattack - Chapter 198
Panguan - Chapter 18
Khemjira’s rescue - Chapter 44

Currently watching

Dramas

I’m the Most Beautiful Count (Thai BL) - Weekly, Saturdays - 10/13 episodes
Khemjira (Thai BL) - Weekly, Saturdays or Sundays - 10/12 episodes
The Long Ballad (Chinese drama) - No schedule - 4/49 episodes
The Journey to Kill You (Japanese BL) - Fridays - 4/6 episodes
The Story of Bihyeong (Korean BL) –Thursdays – 4/12 episodes

On hold

Anime

Sanrio Danshi – No schedule – 7/12
Komi Can’t Communicate – No schedule – 4/24
Rokuhōdō Yotsuiro Biyori – No schedule – 2/12

Dramas

The Bangkok Boy (Thai BL) – Weekly, Saturdays – 2/12 episodes
Perfect 10 Liners (Thai BL) – No schedule – 4/24 episodes

If I find the energy and time to really write my opinions about some of these, I'll post them when I can...

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: Some circle of hell, probably
Current Music: KENG HARIT - มนตรา

I haven't done an update in a while (again) because life has been busy (as always) and, normally, by Sunday night I'm completely exhausted. Sitting down to write can be fun, but it also requires a mental effort that I can't always muster. A few months ago, I was still doing reaction threads on my blorbo account, but I noticed that doing that can make it take me longer to get through an episode. That's why I haven't done it with the series I've watched lately, though I think that has also made me talk a bit less about the things I enjoy.

Since my last update, I've finished watching several series. And I'm watching a lot too... I don't learn, do I?

CURRENTLY MAKING

The Yuri on Ice embroidery - Yes, still

FINISHED WATCHING

Revenged Love ( Chinese BL) – 24 episodes [August 12]
Reset (Thai BL) – 10 episodes [August 22]
The Little Red Matchmaker (Chinese drama) – 24 episodes [August 25]
The Promise of the Soul (Taiwanese BL) – 12 episodes [September 5]
Memoir of Rati (Thai BL) – 12 episodes [September 5]
Century of Love (Thai BL) – 10 episodes [September 5]

Revenged Love

It's from China. It caused quite a stir. It's 24 episodes and I had a lot of fun with them. However, there's something that happened in one of the first episodes that almost made me drop it and that still bothers me when I remember it… The thing is, the story is about characters of questionable morality who do dubious things to get what they want, and then there’s chaos, so much. I enjoyed it a lot because the characters are completely unhinged and the actors are very beautiful. Plus, the entanglements between all the characters were delicious to me.

Reset

I started this series out of curiosity because a lot of people liked it. It's about an actor who is murdered and, after dying, wakes up in his body from 20 years ago (I think it’s 25 but I don’t remember and I’m too lazy to check). This gives him the chance to relive his life and correct past mistakes. I found it hilarious that when he woke up in his young body, he was very agitated and would confront people who would harm him in the future as if those things had already happened. I ended up getting hooked because I wanted to know what would happen next, but also because of Pond Ponlawit's precious little face (yes, I’m shallow). I thought it was a pretty entertaining series and I couldn't stop watching it. I finished it in eight days.

The Little Red Matchmaker

I watched this series because I wanted to see Tian Xuning (Chi Cheng in Revenged Love) in another role. The series isn't very good, but I found it entertaining enough to finish. It's about a pair of immortals who face a nine-tailed fox demon. They die in the battle and reincarnate: one as a famous mortal doctor and the other as a matchmaking immortal (I don’t know if I’m making a mistake about the categories of these beings, it’s still a bit confusing). The premise seemed interesting to me, though maybe it could have been a better production. Tian Xuning is very cute in it and he wears a wig… The upside is that its episodes are only about 10 minutes long, so watching it wasn't a huge commitment. I finished it in 10 days.

The Promise of the Soul

This one had a peculiar premise. A grandfather and his grandson die at the same time, but the grandfather's soul is transferred into the grandson's body. Finding himself resurrected in his grandson's body, the grandfather is forced to adopt his identity and, in the process, becomes very close to a guy that the grandson liked (but who didn't like him back). However, it seems the grandson wasn't very well-liked among his peers, and the grandfather has to face many challenges upon realizing this, on top of having to be a university student. The age difference between the leads put a lot of people off. It kept me entertained, though I must admit the last four episodes almost lost me. I ended up enjoying it, but I wouldn't say it will be one of my favorites. I watched this one week to week.

Memoir of Rati

A period romance set in the first decade of the 20th century. Rati, the adopted son of a French ambassador, arrives in Siam and stays to teach French to the officials of the time and to the king. He falls in love with one of them, Count Theerathon Wisut. Prejudices against same gender relationships, as well as class prejudices, make the relationship difficult. We also see the story of Mek, a Muay fighter and rickshaw puller, and Baronet Dech. Their story highlights that class difference that complicates everything even more. The series is very visually beautiful, and both GreatInn and AouBoom looked gorgeous in it; but in the end, I felt the story lacked impact (in my opinion). Maybe that's just my perception because I like tragic and sad stories. I enjoyed it while it was airing. It was cute and sweet, but I think the conflicts were resolved in a way that was too simple, but oh well…

Century of Love

In the early 20th century, San is saved by Wat and falls in love with her. They are in love with each other, but because of her status, she must marry someone else, but she doesn’t want to. On her wedding day, she escapes with San, whom she truly loves, only to end up dead after stepping between Trai (her fiancé) and San. San can't save her, but he performs a ritual in front of the goddess Nuwa using the five-colored rock, a magical object that grants immortality. This ritual allows him to live for a hundred years, provided he can find the reincarnation of Wat, his beloved. In exchange for not dying, every night he will suffer intense pain caused by the poison of the five-colored rock. Furthermore, every new moon, his body will completely regenerate to endure the torment each month, and the way it does this is by turning him into a small child. Just as he is about to lose hope of finding his beloved, since the time limit is approaching, with the help of Ton (the helper and guardian of the goddess's temple) they find the person Wat reincarnated into, only to realize that this time the soul was reborn in a man: Vee. From this point, many things happen before our couple can find a little peace. I ended up enjoying it quite a bit, but I must admit the fact that Pond Ponlawit appeared made it a little hard not to get distracted during the episodes and scenes he was in, because he is very, very beautiful. Daou also made me not look at the subtitles and having to rewind the episode to see what I had missed.

CURRENTLY WATCHING

Dramas:

Desire (Chinese Omegaverse drama) – Weekly, Saturdays – 11/16 episodes
10 Things I Want to Do Before I Turn 40 (Japanese BL) – Weekly, Fridays - 10/12 episodes
My Magic Prophecy (Thai BL) - Weekly, Sundays - 6/10 episodes
I’m the Most Beautiful Count (Thai BL) - Weekly, Saturdays - 6/13 episodes
Shine (Thai drama) - Weekly, Saturdays - 6/8 episodes
Khemjira (Thai BL) - Weekly, Saturdays or Sundays - 5/12 episodes
Secret Lover* (Taiwanese BL) - No schedule - 5/12

Desire

I’m enjoying the toxicity, though I feel like it’s a bit slow at times. I don’t really have an issue with that, but I know some people do. I loved seeing Hua Yong being the fakest bitch ever and now that the truth is out, I’m enjoying that too… he’s just so unhinged. And like every week, I feel the need to protect Gao Tu, but I’m also starting to be fond of Mister Shen “Chronic Foot in Mouth” Wenlang. He cares about Gao Tu; he is just very very very emotionally stunted that he cannot show it in a normal way. I also love Hua Yong and Shen Wenlang’s weird friendship.

10 Things I Want to Do Before I Turn 40

The past two episodes have been my least favorite, but I understand their purpose in the narrative. I am looking forward to the resolution, and I need to read the manga because I’ve heard there are differences. And you all know I love 1) checking the differences between the source material and its adaptations, 2) el chisme.

My Magic Prophecy

It's quite cute, but there's also sadness and angst. What I like the most is the dynamic between the protagonists. I know it’s going to have a happy ending, so there’s no need to stress about it.

I’m the Most Beautiful Count

It's a very fun series that sometimes makes my heart hurt when it touches on themes of unjust laws and oppression. I am really liking Nut Supanut. I know there’s a lot of controversy about the adaptation and that Thai fans are not happy with it. I read some context, but I am still gonna finish it. I’m totally invested.

Shine

Gods, this show has been really good; every single episode has managed to leave me breathless and speechless. It’s beautifully filmed, and the story is compelling (for me). Also, the beauty of Apo Nattawin has me hooked. I am almost tempted to watch KinnPorsche just for him one of these days, but he looks very baby there and I kinda prefer how he looks as Trin. There are only two episodes left of this one, and I’m looking forward to them. I admit I don’t want a happy ending for this one, but as a person who tries to never set any kind of expectation, I hope it keeps surprising me. I’ve heard some people don’t like BOC because they think their stories are pretentious, and only having seen Man Suang, I could agree, but I’m genuinely liking Shine a lot. A LOT.

Khemjira

This one is so good, too!! I didn’t hesitate to start it even though it said it was going to be spooky, but so far it’s been fine for a scaredy cat like me. I’m enjoying it, and I would like to know more about the magic and rituals it integrates into the story. I’ve read some of the chats Pheem uses are actual rituals from Thai folklore. The mains are cute, and the side couple is cute, too. And the ghosts are mostly sad, except the evil lady ghost. She creeps me out.

*Secret Lover

I almost dropped it and I'm not caught up anymore, but I'm feeling curious to see what has happened. Is it FOMO or my obsession with finishing things? It's just that at some point it started to bore me, but if I watch a couple of episodes and it grabs my attention again, I'll consider giving it a second chance.

Anime:

The Summer Hikaru Died – Weekly, Saturdays – 8/?
Sanrio Danshi – No schedule – 7/12
Komi Can’t Communicate – No schedule – 4/24
Rokuhōdō Yotsuiro Biyori – No schedule – 2/12

On hold

The Bangkok Boy (Thai BL drama) – Weekly, Saturdays – 2/12 episodes
Perfect 10 Liners (Thai BL drama) – No schedule – 4/24 episodes

CURRENTLY READING

SVSSS Vol. 4 - Chapter 26
Counterattack - Chapter 189 (I actually managed to read a bit since the last update!)
Panguan - Chapter 6

I started reading Panguan last week for the Read Along organized by

geraineon

The thing is that I started it without having finished Counterattack... And when I started reading Counterattack, I did it without having finished SVSSS Vol. 4. That means now I have three novels in progress.

I don't make wise decisions... But... shiny new things.

Current Location: The Void
Current Music: Ceremony - Stray Kids

Oh, gods. I'm tired.

I just finished cooking for tomorrow and even though I like cooking, it is an exhausting activity. The kid helped a lot peeling and cutting vegetables, but I did the rest and now I'm sweaty and I'm sure I'm not going to want to eat what I just cooked (it tastes good, there's nothing wrong with it, it's just... a thing that has been happening recently)... Maybe I should just buy a lot of fruit and survive on veggies and fruit, and the occasional rice ball...

It's been three weeks since the kid started high school and just one since he started his classes at the conservatory, but these new routines are kicking my ass. He seems to be adapting just fine, but he asked me to schedule an appointment with the therapist to "help him process all these changes." So maybe he needs a bit more support, even though I'm really really trying.

Anyway, all these changes have been a lot and my only escape is fiction and music. I've been trying to write a media update since Friday but haven't been able to finish because there's always something to do. Days don't have enough hours to do everything I'd like to do... and there are activities that require more energy than what I actually have, so it may seem I waste my time (watching my gay shows and erading my gay books), but I'm actually trying not to collapse. At least I can listen to music while I cook and do other things, or else I would've gone crazy by now.

I realize having very little external support makes life a bit difficult, but at this point in my life I wouldn't even know where to start to build a support network...

I hope I can have a little time tomorrow to finish writing my update.

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: Lemon Drop - Ateez

I’ve been watching Sanrio Danshi for a while now, ever since I stumbled upon an episode at Citrus Con (yes, I know, it was ages ago… but what can I say?). I haven’t finished it yet, but overall, I like it. The series follows a group of high school boys who love Sanrio characters, even though their tastes aren’t exactly embraced by some of their peers. The character who brings the group together is Hasegawa Kouta, a guy who adored Pom Pom Purin as a kid because his grandmother gave him a plushie he deeply cherished. But then, some cruel kids mocked him for it, and ever since, he felt ashamed of his preferences. Years later, in high school, he meets Mizuno Yuu and Yoshino Shunsuke, two cool guys who also enjoy Sanrio characters, with one key difference: they aren’t embarrassed by what they like, even if society deems it "unmanly."

Sounds like an allegory for something bigger, doesn’t it? For all those things society tells us we should hide, when there’s really nothing wrong with them. Yeah, I know Sanrio Danshi is basically one giant Sanrio ad, but it’s cute and easy to watch. Plus, if I hadn’t seen it, maybe I wouldn’t have reflected on what I’m about to share.

A few weeks ago (two? More? What even is time?), on a social media platform that shall not be named, a video popped up featuring an argentinian* comedian I don’t know much about and don’t particularly care for. But for some reason (maybe I was cooking or washing dishes, I don’t remember), instead of scrolling past, I let the video play.

The comedian was inviting the audience to share something that annoyed them about someone close to them, like a public venting session, and he’d give them advice based on some anecdote. Not a format I love, but that’s not the point. The story I heard went like this:

A woman recounted how her husband was on a video call where he won a giveaway. He got really excited, and she asked him what he’d won. She told the comedian, sarcastically, "Ten Pom Pom Purin products. You know, Hello Kitty’s friend. It’s a yellow dog." Then she continued, saying she asked her husband, "For our son?" to which he replied, "No, for me! I love it!"

The comedian cut in: "And what’s the issue here?" The woman hesitated, and he added, "You just wanted to embarrass him," with a condescending look. "I don’t see anything wrong with him liking a character."

The husband then spoke up, explaining that in that moment, he’d been happy about his prize… until his wife questioned whether it was a joke, whether he was really excited over winning products featuring a character meant for little kids. He responded, "I work hard for this family. I’m not an alcoholic, not a drug addict, not a gambler. I have every right to buy my little Pom Pom Purin figures!" The audience erupted in applause.

The woman tried to justify herself by saying he was a lawyer and the principal of a school. "So?" the comedian shot back. She finished with, "As long as he doesn’t go out in public with me carrying his Pom Pom Purin, it’s fine," which drew disapproving murmurs from the crowd.
The video doesn’t end there, but that’s the most important part, imo.

At first, my reaction was, "What the hell? Why is this woman acting like that?" Later, the audio went viral, and tons of people (adults, of course) started sharing their own collections of "unusual" interests, turning it into something very relatable.

But beyond my initial outrage, the video left me thinking (even now) about why it bothers some people when adults enjoy "childish" things, especially when those adults are men (in this case, at least, women are very often judged too if they have interests that don’t align with the norm). There’s this social expectation that at a certain age, we’re supposed to outgrow cartoons, toys, comics… anything perceived as immature. But in this case, as I see it, there’s an added layer: masculinity.

The woman mentioned her husband being a lawyer and school principal as if that obligated him to reject what he loved. "Isn’t it ridiculous for a man like him to enjoy something so childish?" she seemed to be saying. Ugh…

Obviously, this reminded me of Sanrio Danshi. In the anime, several characters outright call the protagonists "gross" for liking something considered feminine. Men cannot be kawaii or like kawaii things, apparently… which also makes me think about Old-Fashioned Cupcake and, more recently, 10 Things I Want to Do Before I Turn 40. Gosh, I remember reading articles and posts about this topic, but that was before I started keeping track of the things I read regarding fandom discussions… they’d be so handy right now. Alas…

The other day, while cooking with the kid, another video on this same topic popped up on the unnamed social media platform. He overheard it and at one point asked me, "What's wrong with someone liking Pom Pom Purin?" I told him: "Nothing... that's exactly the point." And he agreed, even showing his distaste for how people judge others over things like that. After all, he has a Hello Kitty plush (among others) and loves decorating his stuff with kawaii stickers without a second thought.

But I’m getting sidetracked. What really sticks with me is how machismo is also ingrained in many women’s expectations. I don’t know if this is part of the current conservative wave or what…I’m sure there are a lot of factors, a lot of intersecting issues that end up making people think like that.

I don’t have a clear conclusion, just a lot of questions: Why do we keep perpetuating these ideas? How do you reconcile demanding men be "sensitive" while ridiculing and rejecting them when they actually are?

I guess the issue has many layers. And maybe I wrote all this just because I needed to get it off my chest. I wish I had the brain to turn this into a serious essay/analysis, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

*Also... I just learned that there are different ways to refer to people from Argentina??? Argentine, argentinean, argentinian? WHY?

Things are finally calming down a bit here (for now, I don’t trust the universe anymore). The kid started high school today, and he’s excited… at least that gives me some peace of mind. We’re still waiting to see if his conservatory schedule can be switched to mornings; only after that’s sorted will I finally be able to breathe. Oh, and if it gets resolved before classes start (they’re on summer break now), I might even make it to the BillyBabe fanmeeting on September 1st… yes, another one, oops. Anyway, here’s what I’ve watched/read/made this past week.

Currently making

The Yuri on Ice embroidery - The top is done, but I haven’t taken pictures

Currently reading

SVSSS Vol. 4 - Chapter 26 (still here, my brain hasn’t been friendly to me and reading is hard these days)
Counterattack - Chapter 122

Currently watching

Dramas:

Revenged Love ( Chinese BL) - Weekly, Mondays and Tuesdays - 23/24 episodes (Tomorrow’s the finale)
The Promise of the Soul (Taiwanese BL) – Weekly, Fridays – 8/12 episodes
Memoir of Rati (Thai BL) - Weekly, Fridays - 8/12 episodes
Desire (Chinese Omegaverse drama) – Weekly, Saturdays – 7/16 episodes
10 Things I Want to Do Before I Turn 40 (Japanese BL) – Weekly, Fridays - 6/12 episodes
Secret Lover (Taiwanese BL) - No idea when the episodes air - 4/12
My Magic Prophecy (Thai BL) - Weekly, Sundays - 3/10 episodes
I’m the Most Beautiful Count (Thai BL) - Weekly, Saturdays - 2/13 episodes
Shine (Thai drama) - Weekly, Saturdays - 2/8 episodes
Khemjira (Thai BL) - Weekly, Saturdays or Sundays - 1/12 episodes

Anime:

Sanrio Danshi – No schedule – 7/12
The Summer Hikaru Died – Weekly, Saturdays – 6/? (I haven’t checked how many episodes this will have)
Komi Can’t Communicate – No schedule – 4/24
Rokuhōdō Yotsuiro Biyori – No schedule – 2/12

On hold

The Bangkok Boy (Thai BL drama) – Weekly, Saturdays – 2/12 episodes
Perfect 10 Liners (Thai BL drama) – No schedule – 4/24 episodes

First, let me talk about the ones that have me completely obsessed… in a chokehold, lol.

Revenged Love

The week before last, I binge watched episodes 2 through 16 of Revenged Love, and I caught up just in time to watch episodes 17 and 18 on Monday and Tuesday. I was fully prepared to wait weekly for the remaining episodes… until Gaga announced that episodes 19 and 20 would drop on Friday (august 8), followed by daily releases starting on Saturday, all the way through tomorrow (august 12).

On one hand, the news was thrilling: no more weekly waits! On the other hand, it completely wrecked my carefully balanced viewing schedule. Still, I think I chose a good time to start watching, since it meant I wouldn’t have to wait long to finish the series. That said, I’ll admit there’s a certain charm to weekly anticipation: more time to theorize about what’s coming next and dissect the characters’ motivations and shenanigans.

But honestly, given all the bizarre behavior from certain fans (I only hear about it secondhand… I don’t even have a xitter or weibo accounts, or whatever other platforms host these “controversies”) and the looming threat of censorship derailing the show, I think we all breathed a sigh of relief when the full series’ release was confirmed.

I started this show out of curiosity, and before I knew it, I was completely hooked. It’s got everything that keeps me interested in a story: toxicity, comedy, angst, morally questionable characters… what can I say? It even made me curious enough to start reading the novel it’s based on, and… well, that’s a whole other beast. Sometimes I have to put my phone down and question my life choices, wondering, what the hell am I even reading?

I have so many thoughts about the novel, and not just about the dubcon or the rampant manipulation between characters, nope. From what I’ve heard, even the author has warned people not to read it, and I totally get why. But between my morbid curiosity and wanting to see how much they changed for the adaptation, I’ll probably finish it… eventually. Maybe I’ll take a break first and finally finish reading SVSSS to appease my conscience.

Desire

Then there’s Desire, another show keeping me on the edge of my seat week after week. It still feels surreal that we’re getting a live action omegaverse series… and a deliciously toxic one at that (at least for me). Every week, I’m impressed by Hua Yong’s masterclass in manipulation, and every week, my heart breaks a little more for Gao Tu (this week’s episode revealed we share our birthday, so now I have even more reason to root for this poor omega pretending to be a beta)...

And can we talk about the non-con body modification? The fact that an alpha pregnancy is central to the plot (in a world where alphas dominate) is fascinating. The implications are ripe for deep analysis, maybe even a serious essay… but not from me. I’m no academic, and while dissecting these themes sounds really tempting, the idea of actually writing something like that is overwhelming. Still, I’d absolutely read it if someone else did it.

10 Things I Want to Do Before I Turn 40

EpAnother series that’s completely charmed me is 10 Things I Want to Do Before I Turn 40. At first, the premise’s similarity to Old Fashioned Cupcake threw me off, but by the second episode, I was sold. Office romance? Age gap? A nearly 40 year old protagonist wrestling with insecurities and emotional repression, embarking on a journey of self discovery alongside a handsome younger man? Yes, please. And no, it has nothing to do with the fact that I, too, am nearing 40 with my own set of insecurities. Nope.

Shine

Then there’s Shine. SHINE. Only two episodes in (and they’re an hour each!), but it’s SO good. The historical and sociopolitical context is fascinating, and reading about it to better understand the story is one of my favorite parts of watching dramas and movies from other countries.

This week’s episode started intensely, with the terror of a forbidden relationship (defying an oppressive system) and the loss of it, followed by the constant (if futile) threat of never being able to break free. I love how each character’s backstory unfolds and connects to the bigger narrative. Also, it’s visually stunning, and the soundtrack? Chef’s kiss.

I didn’t have any kind of expectations like some fans that are more informed and have been following the news about it (I just learned about it when they released the teaser, and this is, in fact, the first BOC series I watch), but I’m so glad I started it. There’ll be only eight episodes, but I’m eager to see where it goes. And of course, obligatory mention of Apo… because good lord, that man is unbelievably handsome.

I’m also keeping up with The Promise of the Soul, Memoir of Rati, My Magic Prophecy, and I’m the Most Beautiful Count. I’m enjoying them all, but right now I don’t have the energy to write more in detail about them… I used it all up writing about the others. Is anyone else watching these? I’d love to talk about them!

And, of course, I’m incorrigible… I’ve added two more shows to my list: Secret Lover (it’s okay, but I’m not fully connecting yet) and Khemjira (supernatural horror with ghosts… which terrify me, but the curse/karma themes have me intrigued enough to keep watching).

I’m also following The Summer Hikaru Died, and I really want to read the manga. I just need to make time for it (I haven’t checked where to read it legally, and I refuse to buy the digital version on amazon because of reasons)

There’s also an idea for a post I’ve been thinking about a lot… about Sanrio Danshi and a viral video of the lawyer/school director who loves Pompompurin. The thoughts have been there for weeks, but between time and my usual "how do I even start writing?" paralysis, it hasn’t happened yet. But I want to.

Anyway, that’s all for now. Are we back to long posts? We’ll see… we’ll see…

It's been a week since I finished Winter Begonia, and I still can't stop thinking about it. So many scenes are permanently etched in my mind - I absolutely need to try making fanart... this story just won't let me go. Yet another flawless recommendation from geraineon <3

Another list without commentary this time, but I’ll try harder next week. At least I think I’m getting back on track.

Currently making

The Yuri on Ice embroidery - slow progress. very very slow, but the top is finished, now the trousers

Currently reading

Counterattack - Chapter 71 (yeah, I started something new without having finished the previous one ToT)
SVSSS Vol. 4 - Chapter 26 (no progress)

Finished watching

Summer Indigo (Korean vertical* BL drama) - 60 mini episodes

Currently watching

Dramas:

Revenged Love ( Chinese** BL) - Weekly, Mondays and Tuesdays - 17/24 episodes (Yes, I binge watched this, but it’s because it is toxic, and there are snakes! And it’s been very very entertaining)
The Promise of the Soul (Taiwanese BL) – Weekly, Fridays – 7/12 episodes
Desire (Chinese Omegaverse drama) – Weekly, Saturdays – 6/16 episodes
10 Things I Want to Do Before I Turn 40 (Japanese BL) – Weekly, Fridays - 5/12 episodes
Memoir of Rati (Thai BL) - Weekly, Fridays - 7/12 episodes
My Magic Prophecy (Thai BL) - Weekly, Sundays - 2/10 episodes
I’m the Most Beautiful Count (Thai BL) - Weekly, Saturdays - 1/13 episodes
Shine (Thai drama***) - Weekly, Saturdays - 1/8 episodes

Anime:

Sanrio Danshi – No schedule – 7/12
The Summer Hikaru Died – Weekly, Saturdays – 5/? (I haven’t checked how many episodes this will have)
Komi Can’t Communicate – No schedule – 4/24
Rokuhōdō Yotsuiro Biyori – No schedule – 2/12

On hold

The Bangkok Boy (Thai BL drama) – Weekly, Saturdays – 2/12 episodes
Perfect 10 Liners (Thai BL drama) – No schedule – 4/24 episodes

*Please don't judge me lol

**MDL says it’s Chinese, Gaga says it’s from Singapore… I imagine it is something similar to whatever is going on with Desire. I understand that it’s because of the censorship, but I don’t fully grasp how it works.

***I don’t think it’s BL properly, but holy shit, that first episode was very good. I am going to be waiting for the next episode.

Current Music: Your Idol - Saja Boys

I meant to post this last week, but... well, life happened (as usual... I know it's a tired excuse, but it's the truth... life just keeps happening and it's been so much). Anyway, here's everything I finished or was watching before July 28. Just throwing this out there to keep this space breathing... or at least on life support. If anyone's watching any of these, please say hi. I've been feeling a bit disconnected from everything lately, and it's been kind of lonely.

Currently making

The Yuri on Ice embroidery - whenever I can, I’m almost done with the jacket? Is it a jacket? Well, that part of the costume

Currently reading

SVSSS Vol. 4 - Chapter 26 (still here, my brain hasn’t been friendly to me and reading is hard these days)

Finished watching

Winter Begonia (Chinese drama) - 49 episodes
The Ex-Morning (Thai BL drama) - 10 episodes
Depth of Field (Japanese BL drama) - 6 episodes

Currently watching

Dramas:

The Promise of the Soul (Taiwanese BL) – Weekly, Fridays – 6/12 episodes
Desire (Chinese* Omegaverse drama) – Weekly, Saturdays – 5/16 episodes
10 Things I Want to Do Before I Turn 40 (Japanese BL) – Weekly, Fridays - 4/12 episodes
Memoir of Rati (Thai BL) - Weekly, Fridays - 6/12 episodes

Anime:

Sanrio Danshi – No schedule – 6/12
Komi Can’t Communicate – No schedule – 4/24
Rokuhōdō Yotsuiro Biyori – No schedule – 2/12
The Summer Hikaru Died – Weekly, Saturdays – 4/?

On hold

The Bangkok Boy (Thai BL drama) – Weekly, Saturdays – 2/12 episodes
Perfect 10 Liners (Thai BL drama) – No schedule – 4/24 episodes

*I thinks it's actually a Taiwanese production, but I'm still not sure about how it works. And I can't believe there's a live action omegaverse drama airing right now. What a time to be alive.

Trying to come back after weeks of not even opening this page. I actually started writing an update two weeks ago, but life got too busy. This list comes without commentary because, honestly, I don’t even remember what I wanted to say about the stuff I was watching (I mean, I remember the important points, but putting them into words would take time and energy, and I prefer to use that for the latest update). That said, I do have this week’s update ready, but that’ll go in a separate post. For now, I figured I’d just post this draft.

Finished making

The Heart Killers fanmeeting freebies

Currently making

The Yuri on Ice embroidery

Currently reading

SVSSS Vol. 4 - Chapter 26

Finished watching

Break Up Service (Thai drama) – 12 episodes
Mentiras La Serie (Mexican drama) – 8 episodes (Look I watch mexican stuff once in a blue moon)

Currently watching

Dramas:

Winter Begonia (Chinese) – Weekly, weekends – 43/49 episodes
The Ex-Morning (Thai BL) – Weekly, Thursdays – 8/10 episodes
The Promise of the Soul (Taiwanese BL) – No idea what day it’s airing, lol – 4/12 episodes
Desire (Chinese* Omegaverse drama) – Weekly, Saturdays, hopefully – 3/16 episodes
10 Things I Want to Do Before I Turn 40 (Japanese BL) – Weekly, it air on Fridays, but I’ll probably watch it on Saturday or Sunday - 2/12 episodes

Anime:

Komi Can’t Communicate – No schedule – 4/24
Sanrio Danshi – No schedule – 2/12
Rokuhōdō Yotsuiro Biyori – No schedule – 2/12
The Summer Hikaru Died – Weekly, Fridays – 1/? (I haven't looked up the number of episodes)

On hold

The Bangkok Boy (Thai BL drama) – Weekly, Saturdays – 2/12 episodes
Perfect 10 Liners (Thai BL drama) – No schedule – 4/24 episodes

*MDL says it's chinese but iirc, it's a taiwanese production. But I could be wrong.

It’s been a while since the last update, but these past few weeks have been chaotic. I almost broke my brain again, even though last time I promised it wouldn’t happen anymore. But that’s a topic for another post. The thing is, everything going on in my life during those days kept me away from the little things that help me stay at peace: what I do in my free time. It was awful, but I made some decisions, and now I’m back.

Currently making

Still working on my Yuri on Ice embroidery (very slowly, though).
The Heart Killers fanmeeting freebies.

Currently reading

SVSSS Vol. 4 - Chapter 26

Finished watching

Leap Day (Thai drama) – 12 episodes
My Stubborn (Thai BL drama) – 12 episodes
Boys in Love (Thai BL drama) – 12 episodes
Kpop Demon Hunters – movie

Currently watching

Dramas:

Winter Begonia (Chinese) – Weekly, weekends – 42/49 episodes
The Ex-Morning (Thai BL) – Weekly, Thursdays – 7/10 episodes
Break Up Service (Thai) – Weekly, Mondays – 10/12 episodes
The Promise of the Soul (Taiwanese BL) – No idea what day it’s airing, lol – 3/12
10 Things I Want to Do Before I Turn 40 (Japanese BL) – Not sure if I’m gonna end up bingeing or if I’m going to watch it weekly - 1/12

Anime:

Komi Can’t Communicate – No schedule – 4/24
Sanrio Danshi – No schedule – 2/12
Rokuhōdō Yotsuiro Biyori – No schedule – 2/12
The Summer Hikaru Died – Weekly, Fridays – 1/?

On hold

The Bangkok Boy (Thai BL drama) – Weekly, Saturdays – 2/12 episodes
Perfect 10 Liners (Thai BL drama) – No schedule – 4/24 episodes

The only things I didn’t pause watching (even before quitting the side job) were the Sunday shows, The Ex-Morning, and Winter Begonia. I also binged Leap Day right before quitting because I was on the verge of collapse and needed a distraction to avoid disaster.

Since quitting, I’ve been trying new shows. Last night, I watched the first three episodes of The Promise of the Soul… it’s a bit weird, but the soul-transfer plot has me intrigued. There’s also a new Japanese one, 10 Things I Want to Do Before I Turn 40. For the first two minutes, it looked so similar to Old Fashioned Cupcake (my favorite) that I almost dropped it, but then some fun details caught my eye, and I decided to give it a chance.

At some point, Citrus Con happened, and I got a taste of Sanrio Danshi, which piqued my curiosity, so I started it. Then, somehow, I stumbled upon Rokuhōdō Yotsuiro Biyori and liked it enough to add it to my list. This weekend, The Summer Hikaru Died premiered, and it looks interesting. I remember seeing a manga recommendation for it on Blorbo last year (iirc), but I never got around to reading it. Now might be the time, since waiting for the next episode might be too much for my anxious brain. I’d love to go into more detail about my experience about the con too, but that might be better saved for another post. It wasn't my first time but I participated a bit more and it was so much fun, even though there were moments I felt very overwhelmed.

I’m not planning to binge all the anime on my list, I just like having options of things to watch when I’m not in the mood for live action, and these recent months anime has been good for my brain.

The only finished show on my list that I still need to wrap up is Break Up Service, but this week I’ve been working on freebies and can’t watch anything subtitled, so it’s been music instead. I could watch something in English or Spanish, but I don’t have the patience to look things up.

Now, about the shows I’ve finished:

Leap Day: I liked it, even though the story wasn’t the tightest. It had a lot of plot holes (like, a lot) but I enjoyed the weekly suspense. I stopped watching for a while because I was busy, anxious, and a mess, but when I was about to break, I needed something cathartic, and this kinda worked. What really stood out was the found-family trope and the finale. It was sad, but for me, it was the only possible resolution. I’d been thinking about it since around episode 6 or 7, but I didn’t expect them to actually go there. Overall, I enjoyed it, though I would’ve loved it more with tighter writing. Still, I wonder if I’m missing some cultural context or something.

Boys in Love: This was such a cute, comforting show. I loved the teenage shenanigans, how their conflicts were portrayed, and the sweetness of it all. The ending was hopeful… though, as a 38-year-old, I know not every relationship that starts at that age lasts forever. The teachers were a highlight, and I’d really like to watch a spin-off about them. Yes, I need more Papang in glasses, please. It was genuinely a show I looked forward to every Sunday, and I’m gonna miss it.

My Stubborn: Oh boy. This one was a ride. It was way more fun than I expected when I started. The high heat was great, but at some point, I got really invested in Sorn and needed to know what was going on in his head. By the end, we got a glimpse of why he acted the way he did, and even though he stayed a walking red flag, at least he figured his shit out enough to resolve his main issue and told Jun about his real feelings. And they gave us spice in the last episode too, so I’m happy. I’m gonna miss this messy show; it made Sundays something to look forward to. So much fun.

Lastly, earlier today I watched Kpop Demon Hunters in a watch party, and it was so much fun. I liked it, but I kinda want to rewatch it because I think there’s a lot going on. The songs were bangers, and now I can’t get “Soda Pop” out of my head now (not that I’m trying really hard lol).

Anyway, I'm still in a weird headspace, but I'm starting to feel like myself again, so that's good. I also need to finish reading SVSSS, but reading always gets harder after my brain goes through that kind of thing... so I'm taking it slow.

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: Soda pop - Kpop Demon Hunters OST

Very late update, because I’ve been very busy and deeply unmotivated, but Very late update because I’ve been busy and deeply unmotivated, but I didn’t want to disappear. So, here’s just the list without commentary, or I’d never end up posting this.

Finished reading

SVSSS Vol. 3

Currently making

Not so secret craft project - Yuri on Ice…(test run)

Currently reading

SVSSS Vol. 4 - Chapter 23

Currently watching

My Stubborn (Thai BL drama) – Weekly, Sundays – 9/12 episodes
Boys in Love (Thai BL drama) – Weekly, Sundays – 9/12 episodes
The Ex-Morning (Thai BL drama) – Weekly, Thursdays – 4/10 episodes
Komi-san can’t communicate (Anime) – No schedule – 4/24
Winter Begonia (Chinese drama) – Weekly, weekends – 33/49 episodes
Break Up Service (Thai drama) – Weekly, Mondays – 9/12 episodes
Leap Day (Thai drama) – Weekly, Tuesdays – 8/12 episodes

On hold

The Bangkok Boy (Thai BL drama) – Weekly, Saturdays – 2/12 episodes
Perfect 10 Liners (Thai BL drama) – No schedule – 4/24 episodes

The side job has officially begun, so I really haven’t had much time to watch everything on my list. I’ve decided to just wait until Leap Day and Break Up Service are finished so I can binge them… maybe next Sunday... or in two Sundays. When I need to clear my head, I’ll try catching up on Winter Begonia, since I don’t think there are many episodes left ): ... Anyway... What’s really been eating up my free time is SVSSS, but hey, it’s just so much fun. Still, here I am already thinking about which novel to read next, and I haven’t even finished this one.
Other than that, wish me luck with the extra work and my mental health.

Current Mood: busy

Ok. I’m back to talk about the other shows I watched last week.

There’s not much left until Break Up Service ends, and I still haven’t seen this week’s episode. I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t bored me a little, but I think I’m still invested enough to want to know how the story wraps up. At first, I was only annoyed by the concept of the fictional company Break Up Service, but now, with how things have unfolded in the last few episodes, even the rival company, Destiny, seems pretty questionable, lol. But something I liked in the last episode was that the girl Junior’s character wanted to win back ended up being honest about their relationship and breaking things off. If anything, the series has made me think a lot about romantic relationships and all the mental and emotional effort they require (no wonder I’m single, oops… not that I’m looking for a relationship or anything).

My Stubborn has me hooked. First of all, I’m really enjoying watching Sorn (the walking red flag) paint himself into a corner, because at some point (probably next episode… let it be in the next episode, please, please), he’s gonna have to admit his feelings for Jun (Juin? Jwin?? I don’t even know the right way to romanize his name anymore). I don’t think Sorn’s intention is to hurt him, but he did… And I’m looking forward to seeing Sorn suffer when he realizes he messed up with what he said… and I hope he cries. But that’s just a personal preference. I love watching pretty men cry. On the other hand, I’m surprised by the commitment to high heat… so far, we’ve gotten steamy scenes in every episode. Though I don’t have much to compare it to, since I think this is the Thai BL with the most NC scenes I’ve seen so far. I wonder which others are similar in that regard. Only four more episodes left.

Boys in Love is such a nice Sunday watch, and I’m really enjoying it. I don’t know, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I see a lot of my own 15-year-old son’s behavior reflected in how the characters act. Teenagers are, by default, pretty annoying, but that’s normal. Their hormones are a mess, they’re learning to be themselves, they’re adapting to a world where their own role is pretty confusing. I like watching Shane and his inner conflicts, even though it breaks my heart to see him so lost in so many ways. Thankfully, Kit is a boy with a lot of emotional intelligence and always gives him space to work through things, even if he gets conflicted himself. It’d be so nice if most adults were that sensible, lol. Then there’s Mon and his need for acceptance, which also tugs at my heartstrings. Tar annoyed the hell out of me and I was a bit angry at what he did to Per, but in the end they talked about it and they made up. And the teachers… gods, I’m living for the crumbs they’re giving us. But I love their relationship and I want more, give me more… give Podd and Papang their own series!

And last but not least, The Ex-Morning! Only three episodes in, and I’m already hooked. There were some reveals about how certain events happened in Tam and Phi’s relationship, but we still don’t know why they happened that way. What I’m enjoying is the tension between them… even though they’re exes, it’s obvious there are still feelings there. Another thing I really like is how the past scenes are woven into the present; the transitions are well done and don’t feel forced. And on top of all that, Singto… very aesthetically pleasing to look at. Krist is handsome too, but personally, I like Singto more.

Aside from the shows already on my official list, I watched the first episode of Sweetheart Service and thought it was okay. I want to keep watching, but I don’t want to commit to new series because I’ve had really busy days lately and end up exhausted. I also joined a watch party to rewatch Secret Relationships, and that show is still a delightfully toxic, melodramatic mess… so much fun to watch. And rewatching it makes me want to read AUs where the four main characters form an evil polycule, lol.

Anyway, last week I didn’t watch Leap Day, and I didn’t really miss it… I’m not sure if I’ll watch it this week or just wait until the series ends to binge the remaining episodes. I’ll have to think about it because this week and next week are also packed. Sigh.

And that’s it for now.

I did many things this week… At least, that’s how it feels. I’ve been so busy with work, but I made progress on my craft project, and that makes me happy. I know I’m not an artist and my skills aren’t out of this world, but embroidery is an activity I really love. I read, finished a series I’d had on hold since December, and caught up on a few others from my list… though not all of them. I also kept up with my Chinese classes, went out for food and drinks with friends on Friday… and yeah, it did feel like I did a lot. There are days when I wish I could do everything, but it’s just not possible. I try not to sacrifice sleep to do everything I want to do, but sometimes my brain is too active and insomnia kicks in, so instead of just tossing and turning in bed, I read or watch stuff, though I try to keep that to a minimum.

But anyway, on to the update.

Currently making

Not-so-secret craft project – Yuri on Ice test for a future triptych…

Finished reading

SVSSS Vol. 2

Finished watching

El secreto del río (Mexican drama) – 8 episodes

Currently reading

SVSSS Vol. 3 – Chapter 15

Currently watching

Winter Begonia (Chinese drama) – Weekly, weekends – 33/49 episodes
My Stubborn (Thai BL drama) – Weekly, Sundays – 8/12 episodes
Boys in Love (Thai BL drama) – Weekly, Sundays – 7/12 episodes
The Ex-Morning (Thai BL drama) – Weekly, Thursdays – 3/10 episodes
Break Up Service (Thai drama) – Weekly, Mondays – 9/12 episodes
Leap Day (Thai drama) – Weekly, Tuesdays – 8/12 episodes
The Bangkok Boy (Thai BL drama) – Weekly, Saturdays – 2/12 episodes

On hold

Perfect 10 Liners (Thai BL drama) - No schedule - 4/24 episodes

Last weekend, I transferred the pattern onto the fabric. It’s a black cotton fabric that I love. I don’t know why I’m so drawn to dark fabrics, but there’s just something about them… I have some embroideries from almost a decade ago and I made them on black fabric. I think they have a certain charm. Maybe one of these days I’ll post pictures of them here. And last year, I made a gift for an event here on Dreamwidth… also using black fabric.

But before actually starting to embroider, I remembered there are some DMC threads that would be perfect for this project (on black fabric, though I think they’d look good on colored fabric too) and went looking for them. I found an online craft store in my country that sells them individually and was about to buy them (they’re in my cart), but before doing so, I wanted to check a local craft store that carries DMC threads, just in case, by some miracle, they had them. Since I was out on Friday anyway, I stopped by, but unfortunately, they didn’t have the specific series I wanted. So I’ll have to order them online… after payday.

Since they didn’t have what I needed, I bought some satin threads instead and started embroidering over the weekend. It’s still a test run, but at least I have a clearer idea of how I want the final project to look. Hopefully, I can pull it off, haha. I’ll share a photo of my progress… for accountability. I think I need to change the font of the text I want to add and maybe increase the size a bit, too.

Working on the embroidery let me finish (well, mostly listen to) El secreto del río, since it’s a Mexican series and I could follow along without needing to watch every second. The show is set in the Isthmus of Tehuantepec and follows two childhood friends who share a dark secret. SPOILER! *One of them is muxe, and the series also touches on muxe life.* I’ll admit, one reason I paused it was because it deals with transphobic violence, and I wasn’t in the best mental space to watch it without feeling triggered. There are painful and difficult moments, but in the end, I really liked it.

After finishing the series, I embroidered while listening to music playing through my beloved headphones: the Yuri on Ice OST, of course. No, the obsession hasn’t ended 😀

Ahhh, SVSSS Vol. 2 was so fun. There were some really interesting and hilarious moments. Well, at least I found them hilarious. SPOILERS! *I loved the reveal of Luo Binghe sleeping with Shen Qingqiu’s corpse when he thought his shizun was dead and was trying everything to bring him back… meanwhile, Shen Qingqiu was already inhabiting his magical mushroom body. Luo Binghe is unhinged, but ridiculously sentimental (affectionate, I love a weirdo) when it comes to his shizun. I’ll admit, that passage gave me ideas. I imagined Luo Binghe dressing and undressing Shen Qingqiu’s lifeless body in different outfits like a doll, combing his hair, being absurdly gentle and careful, even talking to him (kinda like Hable con ella).* I don’t know, those thoughts made me want to read fics about it, but I haven’t gotten around to searching for something that fits what I want… As for writing it myself? Please, I haven’t even written MDZS fic… and I do have ideas sometimes. But anyway, I finished Vol. 2 and already started Vol. 3. Maybe I’m regaining some of my reading stamina? Who knows… but my need to know what happens next is strong, and that always motivates me, haha.

I’m almost caught up with Winter Begonia again, and that makes me so happy. But oh gods… the last seven? eight? episodes have destroyed me. It’s such a wonderful series, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about the novel it’s adapted from. But beyond that… The visuals? The acting? Love it. I adore Shang Xirui more with each episode. I’d also love to embroider fanart of this series someday. There’s one of Shang Xirui’s opera costumes (not one of the more intricate ones) that I loved, and I think it’d make a beautiful piece.

I thought I’d have enough energy to finish this whole post, but I overestimated myself… my eyes are closing. I’ll write the rest tomorrow in a second part.

This week, the "currently making" part of this update makes a comeback! Yay!!

As I explained in detail in a previous post, my week was pretty hectic, so I took advantage of the weekend to catch up on my shows. But I also wanted to make at least a little progress on my secret craft project… and I did!

Currently making

I already have the pattern, and now all that's left is transferring it to the fabric so I can start. Though I’ll admit, this is going to be a test run because I’ve been going back and forth on the background color I want to use. I’ll try my usual style: black fabric with colorful contrasting thread. I’ll see how it turns out, but I think it might look better with a pale blue or even white background, though I don’t love embroidering on white fabric… If I make more progress during the week, I’ll share photos.

Currently reading

SVSSS Vol. 2 - Chapter 10

Currently watching

Winter Begonia (Chinese drama) – Weekly, weekends – 29/49 episodes
Break Up Service (Thai drama) – Weekly, Mondays – 8/12 episodes
Leap Day (Thai drama) – Weekly, Tuesdays – 8/12 episodes
My Stubborn (Thai BL drama) – Weekly, Sundays – 7/12 episodes
Boys in Love (Thai BL drama) – Weekly, Sundays – 7/12 episodes
The Ex-Morning (Thai BL drama) – Weekly, Thursdays – 2/10 episodes
The Bangkok Boy (Thai BL drama) – Weekly, Saturdays – 2/12 episodes

I’m really enjoying SVSSS, and I think part of it is that, despite it being one of the popular novels, I’ve been really good at avoiding spoilers. So I know the names of the main characters (some of them) and who the main couple is, but beyond that, I have no idea what’s going to happen or how. Plus, I love the meta-literary aspect, the commentary through Shen Yuan/Peerless Cucumber’s self-awareness, lol. It makes me think a lot about hypothetical scenarios where I’d be transported into different kinds of books and how I’d react. Like, what if I suddenly found myself in a gothic novel? How would my knowledge of the canon affect my survival in that world? Or, say, in The Witcher novels... as someone who doesn’t believe in the supernatural, getting dropped into a universe full of ghosts and monstrous creatures? Yeah, I wouldn’t last long, haha. But anyway, it’s fun how much this book makes me think.

I also wonder if I’d be enjoying it as much if this were the first novel of its kind I’d ever read. At this point, I’m at least familiar with some of the tropes and elements of the narrative. Maybe I haven’t read the exact type of novel Shen Yuan gets transported into, but having read Devil Venerable Also Wants to Know before, I know they exist, and that their protagonists would probably annoy me, lol. Though one of the fun things about SVSSS is how Shen Qingqiu’s intervention completely changes certain aspects of Luo Binghe. Maybe I’m just rambling, but I’m having fun.

I just finished episodes 27, 28, and 29 of Winter Begonia, and they were intense. I cried during all three, though for different reasons. I adore Charmaine Sheh, and I love that Fan Xiang’er is such a complex character. Sometimes she frustrates me, but I can’t help feeling some sympathy for her, especially since she’s not some helpless damsel. Cheng Fengtai also drives me crazy sometimes, but in these episodes, he got into trouble for helping others, and well… I can’t deny I enjoy seeing him in uncomfortable situations. I also loved seeing him emotionally wrecked… frustrated, heartbroken, miserable. What can I say? I have a weakness for watching pretty men suffer (in fiction). I absolutely adore Shang Xirui, he’s THE character, and I love him. But yeah, these episodes made me cry. Not that it’s news… I’m an easy crier, lol.

Yesterday, I caught up with The Ex-Morning and Boys in Love, and today I watched this week’s episodes of Boys in Love and My Stubborn.

My Stubborn is turning out to be so much fun, and in the seven weeks it’s been airing (wait, what? Almost two months already? When did that happen?), every single episode has had at least one NC scene. But that’s not even its main appeal, it’s just genuinely entertaining to watch Sorn hopelessly obsessed, in love, and head-over-heels for Jun (whose name I’ve seen spelled at least three different ways in the subtitles…) without being able to say it explicitly (well, using words… because otherwise it’s been pretty explicit… okay okay I’ll see myself out) and how their relationship evolves (even if it’s just a little bit at a time). They’re both stubborn in their own ways, lol. And Sorn is a walking red flag, but he’s got his own charm. I’m dying to see him beg and suffer for Jun, but we’ll see. Sorry, this man totally brings out my mean side.

Boys in Love is still so cute, and I really like how they handle certain themes, like Mon’s rebelliousness and his mother’s concern. Sometimes it’s frustrating, I’ll admit, but that’s exactly why I like it… it reflects how being a teenager is complicated, how parenting a teenager is complicated, and how navigating that relationship isn’t always easy. I also love Shane’s internal conflict, Kit’s expectations, and how they deal with the struggles of their new relationship. Honestly, I didn’t think I’d get hooked on this teen-themed series because I usually prefer shows about adults dealing with adult problems (even in BL-land, which is maybe why I connect more with Japanese series in that sense), but I really like it. It’s a great Sunday watch. Plus, I love Papang, and even though Nut and Tan’s relationship is a subplot, I’m invested. In today’s episode, I couldn’t help but relate to Tan’s insecurities… I just wanted to hug him. I’d love it if they got their own spin-off series someday (though maybe that’s asking too much.)

Leap Day and Break Up Service are still really entertaining, though Leap Day gives me a bit of anxiety, lol. It’s stressful because so many bad things happen, and the main characters keep narrowly escaping death. But it’s made me appreciate Pond and Gun even more. I like seeing these guys in something different from BL, and I also wish they didn’t always have fixed pairings for BL shows. But hey, wishful thinking. I know that system sells, and I’d be lying if I said I don’t absolutely adore the mascots, for example.

Finally, The Ex-Morning is really growing on me! I love that the couple starts off as exes with unresolved baggage (we don’t know why they broke up yet…), and it’s so obvious they’re both still hurting even though the love is clearly still there. Now they’re forced to work together on a TV show to salvage Padtaphi’s (Krist) reputation… and career. This series is my introduction to KristSingto, and I have to admit, I love watching actors in their 30s. Also, can we talk about Singto? So unfairly attractive. That black high-neck sweater in the first episode? Chef’s kiss.

I’m seriously considering waiting until The Bangkok Boy finishes so I can binge it, but I haven’t decided yet. I’m already way behind, and I haven’t had much time. Sometimes I feel like I’m juggling too many things, so every now and then, I have to let one drop :(

Anyway, that’s the weekly update!

It was another exhausting week at work. Again. But at least there’s one less thing on the to-do list: yesterday was the second APA 7 training session I led (along with a coworker). It was the most tedious thing in the world, but we got it done, and our team leads seemed really happy with the result.

On top of that, Tuesday and Wednesday were office days, something that’s always stressful and drains me both physically and mentally. Even though I’ve gotten better at masking and can use it to my advantage sometimes, it still takes a huge toll. For example, I’ve noticed how exhausting it is not being able to sit like a pretzel, or drink as much water as I need without having to run to the bathroom a million times, or take breaks exactly when I need them. Another thing that wears me out is the overstimulation (all the lights and the constant murmurs around me) but this time, I combined my Loops with my headphones, and that helped a lot with the noise.

This week was especially draining because of all the meetings. Having video calls in a coworking space is stressful with all the background noise.

Another fun detail this week? My commute ended up costing more because rainy season has officially started (yay!), which drives up fares (not yay!). So I wound up paying double for each trip, and my wallet is still screaming at me. But afternoon transport is a nightmare. I live on the other side of the city, and the bus stop has no shelter from the rain. Plus, I can’t risk getting my work laptop soaked, and I’m already lugging around a heavy backpack… so, obviously, I had to take Didi instead. Just a wonderful series of circumstances, as you can see.

Normally, I use Thursdays to recover and regroup… after office days, and I try to take it easy. But this time, I had that team project with my coworker, so no luck there. And then, Microsoft access decided to glitch, and by midday, my Teams and Outlook accounts were locked. That wasn’t even the worst part… apparently, even the IT guys didn’t know why it happened, and they took forever to fix it. Some of my coworkers in the same boat managed to sort it out throughout the day with "help" from the Authenticator app on their personal phones… but in my case, it just wouldn’t work, even after I (reluctantly) installed the damn thing, uninstalled it, reinstalled it, and eventually lost track of what I was doing. The IT guy asked for remote access to my computer via AnyDesk, which interrupted my work for hours… hours… and I still had to finish a stupid presentation for Friday. By the time his shift ended (at 9 pm!), he apologized for the trouble and asked if we could pick it up the next day (on Friday). I had to tell him yes, but only after the training session I was leading. He agreed and logged off, but I still had to keep working. And since I took a break to eat something and shower, I didn’t finish until 3 am on Friday. A complete nightmare.

After that, I immediately went to bed, only to wake up at 7 to jump on a call with my coworker and polish up the last details of the presentation. Then we delivered the training, and if it hadn’t been for the whole IT access mess still needing to be solved, I would’ve gone straight back to bed for the rest of the day… Finally, at 4 pm on Friday (28 hours later) IT managed to restore my Teams and Outlook access.

And, of course, I forgot to mention... on Thursday, the water heater broke, so I had to use an electric immersion coil and bathe with a bucket... Not that I mind that method, but heating the water takes way longer that way...

Of course I’m exhausted. I need a vacation…

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: Yuri on Ice OST on repeat

Last week, I was really busy with work... seriously busy. It was stressful, but part of the training I prepared for Friday (23rd) went really well, despite the disorganization of the team leaders, who seem to think they can change plans last minute without any issues because, in the end, it’s us on the team who have to scramble to make it work… You know... the usual. This week looks just as bad, if not worse, with the added bonus of having to go into the office tomorrow and Wednesday… which means my physical and mental energy levels are going to take a hit :)

But here's the update.

Finished reading

Currently reading

SVSSS Vol. 2 - Chapter 7

Currently watching

My Stubborn (Thai BL drama) - Weekly, Sundays - 6/12 episodes
Break Up Service (Thai drama) - Weekly, Mondays - 8/12 episodes
Leap Day (Thai drama) - Weekly, Tuesdays - 7/12 episodes
Boys in Love (Thai BL drama) - Weekly, Sundays - 5/12 episodes
Winter Begonia (Chinese drama) - Weekly, weekends - 26/49 episodes
The Bangkok Boy (Thai BL drama) - Weekly, Saturdays - 2/12 episodes
The Ex-Morning (Thai BL drama) - Weekly, Thursdays - 1/10 episodes

On hold

El Secreto del Río (Mexican drama) - No schedule - 4/8 episodes
Perfect 10 Liners (Thai BL drama) - No schedule - 4/24 episodes

My Yuri on Ice obsession still persists, though at a more passive level due to lack of time (I haven't rewatched it at all). What I have been constantly thinking about is how to pull off my secret craft project. I already have some solid references for the sketches, but that’s about it. Anyway, whenever there’s a shift in work tasks, I struggle to find my rhythm again... and I still haven’t. That’s why I only managed to read five fanfics this week u_u

On the bright side, I now not only have

forestofglory ’s list waiting for me, but also one shared by

bluapapilio ! It’s really exciting to have more recommendations.

I hadn’t made much progress with SVSSS either, but yesterday, when I wasn’t in the mood for watching dramas, I decided to read a bit and finally finished Chapter 6 of Volume 2 and started Chapter 7. It’s getting interesting.

Last week, I tried to catch up on the series I’m watching, but I failed. I’m still behind on Winter Begonia, The Bangkok Boy, and Boys in Love.

I did manage to catch up with Break Up Service, Leap Day, and My Stubborn. I don’t have many thoughts on them, mostly because I’m just so tired, not because I have nothing to say.

And, once again, I gave in to the temptation of starting a new drama: The Ex-Morning, but that’s because I really wanted to see KristSingto… I have a weakness for shows with actors who are 30+... and maybe one of these days, I’ll finally watch SOTUS. I know it’s a must, but there are just so many shows… TOT

Anyway, that’s all for this week.

If I get really bored at the office, maybe I’ll write a post here… maybe one about my birthday and other things, but we’ll see. I’m so busy I don’t even have time to be bored... just overwhelmed :)

Current Mood: exhausted

Carm's corner

Trying this journaling thing again after two decades

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three kings by Naraht

prismatic by seventhswan

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never stop until the grave by Naraht

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December 2025

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