El alma de la fiesta
May. 18th, 2025 10:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alterkrmnLast Wednesday, the kid was invited to a fifteenth birthday party by one of his friends in the music band.
I immediately panicked because the party was in a neighboring town (a 40 minute drive, but double that by bus). What really spiked my anxiety was not knowing when the party would end or what transportation options would be available to leave afterward. I briefly considered getting a hotel in the nearby "city," but ultimately had my son check with his friend if Uber or Didi operated there. The affirmative answer calmed me down, despite the prices.
In the end, we took the bus there and Didi back. It worked out fine.
As long as I can remember, these kinds of parties (weddings, quince años… any celebration big enough to warrant a rented venue) have never been my thing. The loud music, crowds, dress code expectations, and dramatic lighting changes have always overwhelmed me. Of course, back then I didn't know this was connected to my neurodivergence… my parents just thought I was pretentious and antisocial (which, to be fair, wasn't entirely wrong… it just wasn't the whole truth :D)
To this day, I'll avoid them if possible. But sometimes you have to compromise. This time, I did it for the kid. And because the friend's parents explicitly invited me too.
The venue was lovely: a small garden with a pool, surrounded by trees. Some were avocado trees, and in the yard next to the place, chickens pecked at plants and did… well, chicken things.
The venue (see the guy standing? That's THE KID, my kid)
Treetops
Chimckems
Avocado tree
They served carne asada. The drink was clericot (soda for the kids, and also bottles of water…), and I'd be lying if I said that didn't help. I love those refreshing summer drinks. Thankfully, despite being made with red wine, it didn't get me drunk, even after about 8 glasses :D and I switched to water afterward, anyway.
Naturally, The kid sat at the cool kids' table while I got relegated to a table with some birthday girl's relatives.
I'm not the most sociable person, but if others initiate interaction, I can usually activate my masking skills and pass for an average adult who doesn't find small talk excruciating. This time though, no one spoke to me, so I went full antisocial mode and scrolled through my phone.
I tried reading, but my table was right next to a speaker. While the music wasn't deafening, it was loud enough to prevent concentration, so I started live posting about the playlist instead. This entertaining exercise made me realize I don't actually dislike socializing or dancing, but I'm only comfortable around people I completely trust, and that circle is very, very small. Even at a big party, if someone I trust invites me to dance or includes me in conversations, I can loosen up much more easily.
Posting about the party also made me reflect on how my musical tastes have broadened significantly since my youth, through processes deeply tied to class awareness. Twenty years ago, I'd have been annoyed hearing cumbia, norteña, bachata, or merengue… but now I can genuinely appreciate all genres without snobbish disdain. This definitely helped me survive the party without mentally collapsing.
Here are some of the songs I posted about yesterday. I didn't track all of them because at some point I just got lost in the music, humming along.
Dancing queen - ABBA
Stayin’ alive - Bee Gees
Come and get your love - Redbone
Get down tonight - KC and the Sunshine Band
Best of my love - The emotions
What is love
Rock my heart
Who do you love
Another day without you
The rhythm of the night - Corona
Lady - Modjo
Blue - Eiffel 65
Formas de amor - Caló
La calle de las sirenas - Kabah
Simarik - Tarkan
En mi corazón vivirás - Phil Collins
Oye mujer - Raymix
Assorted cumbias
Love - Zoe
Tiburón - Proyecto Uno
La mesa del rincón - Los tigres del norte
La mujer del pelotero - Merenglass
Kulikitaka - Toño Rosario
Capullo y Soruyo - La sonora dinamita
A version of Zorba’s dance
Assorted bachatas
La víbora de la mar
Soy una serpiente
No rompas más - Caballo dorado
Payaso de rodeo - Caballo dorado
De reversa, mami
El venao
YMCA - The Village People
La mordidita - Ricky Martin
Las mañanitas
After "Las mañanitas," we had cake. Soon after, the kid's friends started leaving, so we did too.
I was exhausted, though less than during similar events in the past. What really matters is that the kid had fun. He's a bit of a little mushroom himself (just less so than me), so if he asks me to take him to a party... well, I'll go if I have to.
The things we do for love...
I immediately panicked because the party was in a neighboring town (a 40 minute drive, but double that by bus). What really spiked my anxiety was not knowing when the party would end or what transportation options would be available to leave afterward. I briefly considered getting a hotel in the nearby "city," but ultimately had my son check with his friend if Uber or Didi operated there. The affirmative answer calmed me down, despite the prices.
In the end, we took the bus there and Didi back. It worked out fine.
As long as I can remember, these kinds of parties (weddings, quince años… any celebration big enough to warrant a rented venue) have never been my thing. The loud music, crowds, dress code expectations, and dramatic lighting changes have always overwhelmed me. Of course, back then I didn't know this was connected to my neurodivergence… my parents just thought I was pretentious and antisocial (which, to be fair, wasn't entirely wrong… it just wasn't the whole truth :D)
To this day, I'll avoid them if possible. But sometimes you have to compromise. This time, I did it for the kid. And because the friend's parents explicitly invited me too.
The venue was lovely: a small garden with a pool, surrounded by trees. Some were avocado trees, and in the yard next to the place, chickens pecked at plants and did… well, chicken things.
The venue (see the guy standing? That's THE KID, my kid)
Treetops
Chimckems
Avocado tree
They served carne asada. The drink was clericot (soda for the kids, and also bottles of water…), and I'd be lying if I said that didn't help. I love those refreshing summer drinks. Thankfully, despite being made with red wine, it didn't get me drunk, even after about 8 glasses :D and I switched to water afterward, anyway.
Naturally, The kid sat at the cool kids' table while I got relegated to a table with some birthday girl's relatives.
I'm not the most sociable person, but if others initiate interaction, I can usually activate my masking skills and pass for an average adult who doesn't find small talk excruciating. This time though, no one spoke to me, so I went full antisocial mode and scrolled through my phone.
I tried reading, but my table was right next to a speaker. While the music wasn't deafening, it was loud enough to prevent concentration, so I started live posting about the playlist instead. This entertaining exercise made me realize I don't actually dislike socializing or dancing, but I'm only comfortable around people I completely trust, and that circle is very, very small. Even at a big party, if someone I trust invites me to dance or includes me in conversations, I can loosen up much more easily.
Posting about the party also made me reflect on how my musical tastes have broadened significantly since my youth, through processes deeply tied to class awareness. Twenty years ago, I'd have been annoyed hearing cumbia, norteña, bachata, or merengue… but now I can genuinely appreciate all genres without snobbish disdain. This definitely helped me survive the party without mentally collapsing.
Here are some of the songs I posted about yesterday. I didn't track all of them because at some point I just got lost in the music, humming along.
Dancing queen - ABBA
Stayin’ alive - Bee Gees
Come and get your love - Redbone
Get down tonight - KC and the Sunshine Band
Best of my love - The emotions
What is love
Rock my heart
Who do you love
Another day without you
The rhythm of the night - Corona
Lady - Modjo
Blue - Eiffel 65
Formas de amor - Caló
La calle de las sirenas - Kabah
Simarik - Tarkan
En mi corazón vivirás - Phil Collins
Oye mujer - Raymix
Assorted cumbias
Love - Zoe
Tiburón - Proyecto Uno
La mesa del rincón - Los tigres del norte
La mujer del pelotero - Merenglass
Kulikitaka - Toño Rosario
Capullo y Soruyo - La sonora dinamita
A version of Zorba’s dance
Assorted bachatas
La víbora de la mar
Soy una serpiente
No rompas más - Caballo dorado
Payaso de rodeo - Caballo dorado
De reversa, mami
El venao
YMCA - The Village People
La mordidita - Ricky Martin
Las mañanitas
After "Las mañanitas," we had cake. Soon after, the kid's friends started leaving, so we did too.
I was exhausted, though less than during similar events in the past. What really matters is that the kid had fun. He's a bit of a little mushroom himself (just less so than me), so if he asks me to take him to a party... well, I'll go if I have to.
The things we do for love...