Carm's corner

Regarding shows, after finishing The Sign and being obsessed with it to the point of dreaming about it and waking up in the middle of the night to write down the ideas, I started rewatching it for writing fic purposes, because I am still obsessed. It just has so many gaps and a finale unsatisfaying enough (but not to the point of making me hate it) that make it perfect for fic...

Then I finished watching Unknown. I liked it and it made me curious about the novel (Dage, by Priest) because every time I watch something adapted from a novel or a comic, I like to know the source material and, in this case, I want to know if the novel explores some aspects in a deeper way. I found there's a fan translation but the wway of getting it is asking the translator via email and I don't know them, so it gives me a bit of anxiety to do that.

After that, I watched the mexican series Nadie nos va a extrañar and even wrote a post about it. It's one of those shows I watch and think they're just fine, nothing extraordinary, but days after watching it, I keep thinking about it and realize maybe I liked it a bit more than I initially thought.

After that, I kinda stopped rewatching The Sign, not because I got bored, but because I've been tired. I think it's because my mom stopped helping making food for me and the kid and now I have to cook. I love cooking but it's very time and energy consuming. Sometimes I just want to eat instant noodles and empanadas, tortas or memelas, but I have to provide the kid with healthy food so... yeah. And making food is definitely cheaper than buying it. I use so many spoons, though.

But my brain gets bored easily and I tried watching Love is a poison, but it turns out Netflix Mx only has the first five episodes and I don't know when the rest will be available and looking for places to watch stuff outside the official platforms requires me to open my laptop, something I haven't done in a while either, until now. So I just started watching Kidnap, but then got a bit distracted and haven't watched the rest. But at least now it's finished and can watch it without having to wait for the episodes to be available, but I don't know if I'm in the mood for that show right now. I have to try and see.

And just last night I watched the first episode of the Thai drama The Heartkillers, starring Khaotung Thanawat and First Kanaphan. I decided to give it a try because I watched the music video, shared by someone on fedi, and I thought it looked fun. It was fun, but it's gonna be a once a week thing, which I think it's fine for my brain right now. The thing is that it's probable my brain will get bored at some point and I will want to watch something while I wait until next Wednesday.

I've missed a lot of things here, but I'm back. Kinda. Hopefully. I will try.
 

These last couple of days, probably caused by the change in the block feature and (much less, it seems) by the "AI" thing, and all the people trying to leave twitter, I have been seeing more and more posts about bridging fedi and bluesky accounts and it's a bit annoying. I don't care about the technicalities, it's just annoying seeing posts of a platform I'm not on...

What upset me the most about the whole thing was seeing an explicit fanart post without being behind the usual CW thingy or the "sensitive media" thingy. I've become so used to those things that I check my accounts on moshidon very freely in public without having to worry about something inappropriate showing up unexpectedly when I'm at work or on the bus. I have many filters on fedi and they work and it's great. I didn't have a "nsfw" filter precisely because people use the CW and "sensitive media" tools, but apparently people don't use those so much in bluesky... So, now I have a "nsfw" filter. It was just a bit annoying, but enough to make me want to complain lol

And I suppose I understand the excitement but, personally, I couldn't care less about bluesky. I don't think I'm ever going to try it. I like the quietness of fedi and now that I'm trying to use this space more often, I think I found the combo that works for me. I'm just so done with trying to keep up with the frenetic pace of posting and scrolling, and "being where the people are"... And I don't have the time or energy to try to maintain another social media account. Like a meme in spanish says: "¿Para qué o qué?" Once again, I feel like such an old man, but I don’t care either, I’m old and that’s ok.

I have a locked instagram account I barely use now, but the few outside the internet friends I have use it so, yeah. I also gave in and made a tiktok account because people insist on sharing videos from that site with me, and I admit some of them are interesting or fun… and I follow at least five people who make linguistic divulgation content and I like what they post, but I really dislike the way tiktok works in general. And, finally, I have a tumblr account I use to see fanart or gif sets... I like the gif sets...

I used to have two twitter accounts, but stopped using them last year, just a little after moving to fedi, but I think I'm going to go and actually delete them for good now.

I get that people move where their groups move, and that's fine... I just don't work that way. Sure, I moved when some part of the ofmd fandom did because twitter was unbearable, but I stayed because I liked it. Many of those mutuals who moved back then didn't stay that long and went back to twitter.

I usually burn my bridges and don't look back. I have done things that way almost all my life. And I'm not saying that's the best way, it's a very lonely path sometimes. And I'm trying to be better in that aspect, I am trying to nurture the acquaintanceships that are blooming, and I wish I knew how to do it in a better way, but I've always been a bit socially inept. So, it's been surprising to find myself interacting so much with people on fedi. I suppose I just find it easier to try to connect when the norm is not the rage bait and getting off on being angry, and just feeding on discourse all day every day. Not like there’s no discourse on fedi, but at least the corner where I hang out is not filled with useless fury.

Books and sadness

Now that I finished reading The Sign, I can continue reading Global Examination. And it's such a fun book. Qin Jiu and You Huo amuse me a lot.

I was also going through the list of books I've read this year and I'm a little depressed by the fact that there are so few. And it makes me a little jealous too seeing people read one book after another.

I make a living out of reading all day every day, but it feels soulless, mechanic... And even though I learn a lot about different subjects, it isn't a joyous activity at all.

I try to tell myself that this is not a competition, that it doesn't matter that everyone reads so much interesting stuff, not only books, but also articles, short stories... but at some point my brain just refuses to read. It is easier to watch something, to listen to music...

Maybe, if numbers were all that mattered, I could count every course I read and edit as a book on my list, lol. But that's not the point.

I can't even join reading challenges anymore... it's just a lot and, honestly, I have a lot on my plate all the time, ha. And at the beginning of this year I left a book club with a group of friends and acquaintances from outside the internet because honestly the level of discussion was not what I expected and the selection of books was not to my liking.

Sharing my thoughts about the novels I read on fedi has worked, but I always feel like I could do more, read more instead of watching a show, but we circle back to the exhaustion and my brain refusing to cooperate. Sometimes I miss being young and being a voracious reader. But life happens, I guess.

My goal for this year is finishing Global Examination and maybe one more novel.

Now is time to go to bed, being warm and maybe dream about the fic I started writing at some point when I started watching The Sign. That is exciting. Hehe.