Do you feel like I did this with you? I am sorry if that was the case.
I had hoped you'd have time to watch more series that I could join in with. I was slow in realising that wasn't going to happen. But I never wanted to pressure you to watch and I absolutely do not want you to feel guilty about anything.
I understand about not having the spoons or the capacity to do what you want. There is so much I've wanted to join with, like JoL and NiF, which I'm incapable of because of my health limitations. And one of the reasons why I wanted to was so I could talk with you about something you were into. So we could have some of that interaction and in a way which worked for you.
I know I encouraged you to do less and to get yourself checked for anaemia because I know first hand what can happen when we push too hard. That probably felt like pressure and I apologise for that. I see my past self in that pushing, in struggling to stay afloat and prioritising those things over health. I really don't want you to end up like me, incapable of doing many of the things which bring you happiness.
I'm worried now that this feels like pressure. Some recent things have left me very shaken and wondering what else people have decided about me without me realising. If that's going on here, I'd like to clear things up. I really do value what felt to me like a real friendship with you and hope that some day you'll have the spoons to resume. If that happens, the door will always be open for you no matter how much time has passed. On your terms.
For now I'll stop interacting with you unless you initiate it. Adding to your stress is the last thing I want to do.
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alterkrmn
(no subject)
Date: 2024-07-10 07:23 am (UTC)I had hoped you'd have time to watch more series that I could join in with. I was slow in realising that wasn't going to happen. But I never wanted to pressure you to watch and I absolutely do not want you to feel guilty about anything.
I understand about not having the spoons or the capacity to do what you want. There is so much I've wanted to join with, like JoL and NiF, which I'm incapable of because of my health limitations. And one of the reasons why I wanted to was so I could talk with you about something you were into. So we could have some of that interaction and in a way which worked for you.
I know I encouraged you to do less and to get yourself checked for anaemia because I know first hand what can happen when we push too hard. That probably felt like pressure and I apologise for that. I see my past self in that pushing, in struggling to stay afloat and prioritising those things over health. I really don't want you to end up like me, incapable of doing many of the things which bring you happiness.
I'm worried now that this feels like pressure. Some recent things have left me very shaken and wondering what else people have decided about me without me realising. If that's going on here, I'd like to clear things up. I really do value what felt to me like a real friendship with you and hope that some day you'll have the spoons to resume. If that happens, the door will always be open for you no matter how much time has passed. On your terms.
For now I'll stop interacting with you unless you initiate it. Adding to your stress is the last thing I want to do.
Wishing you all the best.