Carm's corner

These past couple of weeks I have been thinking, almost feverishly, about FadelStyle, one of the pairs from The Heartkillers. I was lured into watching the show thanks to First and Khaotung, but at some point I became absolutely obsessed over Fadel (Joong) and Style (Dunk). I admit one of the reasons is Joong, as I already said in my weekly update. He is very very pretty and charming, and has a smile that makes me smile like a fool, and I like watching him, what can I say? But that's not the whole reason. I like the character he plays: Fadel.

I won't go into much detail about Fadel and FadelStyle, but the thing is that they've made me go almost feral. I've spent so much time thinking about Fadel's actions and reactions, about his motivations and fears. And writing little things, mostly with my notes app on the phone. The last time I felt more or less like this was when I watched The Sign, but even then I didn't feel this need to write, not with this intensity at least... I've even written the kind of things that are called meta. But I have been doing it nonstop with a friend via Discord and it's been so fun having someone to do that. I've also posted some things on Tumblr, but that's more like talking to the void. I like doing that sometimes, most of the time.

And all this has made me wonder what exactly makes a show or a book have this effect in my brain. I can say this show is not perfect, there are many plotholes, or at least they seem like they are and with only two episodes left, we'll see if they manage to wrap the whole story in a nice and satisfying way (did I mention this in the weekly updates post too? Agh, I don't remember and I refuse to open it just to check). But I really don't care, and that's fascinating to me. There are other shows with fewer plot holes, for example, with different kinds of stories, that have made lose my mind in a similar way, but I don't know if there's a pattern or it's just vibes or what. Maybe it's the emotions portrayed. 

What I think made me lose my mind and fixate on Fadel was that during last's weeks most emotionally intense scene he said something I'm always saying:  "I don't want to have any expectations just to be disappointed." We both need therapy and he's my child from now on. So maybe it's that, maybe it's because the show is really fun and has a lot of cool music and references to pop culture... It would be interesting to discover the secret of feeling like this about a certain piece of media.

I don't know where I'm going with this... but I wanted to write about it because I need to exorcise all this lol